


The Menu Said I Can Have You

by lapetitchou



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Comm Exchange, Developing Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Office AU, Sho Exchange 2020, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:40:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 39,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23062600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lapetitchou/pseuds/lapetitchou
Summary: What would happen when two strangers are made to work together so that they can out-best each other? Logic would say that it would be a disaster. But Logic doesn’t always have all the details.
Relationships: Matsumoto Jun/Ninomiya Kazunari friendship, Matsumoto Jun/Ohno Satoshi friendship, Matsumoto Jun/Sakurai Sho, Sakurai Sho/Aiba Masaki friendship
Comments: 23
Kudos: 51
Collections: Hi-ho! I'm your aibou!





	The Menu Said I Can Have You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eggrater](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eggrater/gifts).



## I. Coffee

* * *

Sakurai Sho squinted at the obnoxious light from his computer screen and managed to make out the time and date at the corner of it. December 21st, 2:04 am. He tried to say something akin to a curse, but all that came out was a dry rasp. He buried his head for the last time on his folded arms and slowly sat up, careful not to let his office chair roll too far back.

And that’s when he felt the soft blanket brush down against his shoulders. He did not recall putting on a blanket. It wasn’t his blanket. He didn’t have a blanket in the office in the first place. But it was familiar enough. He knew that if he looked at one of the corners, there would be a small, striking red-purple stain against the soft blue color of the rest of the blanket. And that there was a faint cloud pattern with a lighter shade of blue around the edges if you looked close enough. And that if he sniffed it, there would be the faint scent of lavender and something milder like jasmine on it.

He knew because this was not the first time.

Blankie - yes, he named the blanket – made its appearance about a month ago, when the temperature started to drop beyond comfortable into something chilly. That would normally be not a problem inside the office, where they had central heating, except that heating is turned off at precisely eight in the evening. All well and good, everyone should be gone by then. The company had been reinforcing the new policies on overtime work. Well, unless you were Sakurai Sho, who had the habit of working overtime all the time despite being told specifically not to.

When autumn started, the remaining warmth from the central heating would last him until around ten in the evening and Sho would finally head home when his fingers started to get a little numb from the cold. However, as the end of the year drew closer, the work also started to pile up. Accounts needed to be settled, loose end contracts needed to be neatly tied-up, and reports made by the younger staff needed to be checked for errors and completeness. Sho had no choice but to endure the cold office, and had started the habit of wearing his down jacket inside the office so he could make it until midnight. When the department head, Murao Nobutaka, found out, he gave Sho a stern warning not to overdo it. Sho didn’t listen. He liked his job and he wanted to finish as much as he could every day, knowing that there would be more the following day.

Sho began to stand up, slowly stretching his lower back and lightly shaking the pins and needles sensation off his arms, and took a glance at the pile of soft fabric by his feet. He recalled his first encounter with Blankie. 

It was a particularly cold autumn day and the weather forecast advised people to wear extra layers as the temperature was expected to drop to single digits that night. Sho was once again working overtime. He was the only one left in their department. It was only a quarter past ten in the evening when Sho started to feel his eyelids growing heavier with each passing tick of his desk clock. The lack of sleep had finally caught up with Sho. The next thing he knew, he was waking up an hour later, and there it was, Blankie, all soft and warm around him. There was confusion at first, and then panic. Panic because the first thing that came to his mind was that there was a ghost in their office, and that ghost put that blanket on him. Sho immediately realized how ridiculous that was and looked around the office. He was alone, and in the eerie silence all he could hear was the loud, nervous beating of his heart. 

When common sense finally kicked in, Sho calmed down and decided that whoever did it, Sho was thankful because the room was frigid cold and he could actually see his breath turn into mist whenever he breathed out. He brought the blanket home that night, washed it, and brought it back again to the office the next day, safely tucked inside a paper bag with a thank you note. He left it at their floor’s reception desk and told them that someone left it behind in the hallway, hoping that whoever it belonged to, he or she would get it back. Why he didn’t ask his colleagues in the department, Sho wasn’t sure himself. Maybe because most of his colleagues were married middle-aged men and women, and he didn’t think that any of them would have that much concern for him to bother with a blanket. And he was sure that no one stayed behind with him on their floor.

But then it happened again. And again. And Sho would bring home Blankie, wash it, return it smelling like his detergent, and then at some point, wake up with Blankie around him smelling like lavender and jasmine. It only happened when he accidentally fell asleep on his desk. At one point, Sho even pretended to be asleep just to catch whoever was doing it, but that night Blankie didn’t come.

And so tonight, for the fourth time, he was again bringing Blankie home with him. Sho had developed the habit of keeping a spare paper bag in his drawer specifically for carrying Blankie home. He sighed loudly and tried to stretch the knot at his neck as he walked to the elevator. He must have been asleep for over two hours in that uncomfortable position. He was looking down, holding the back of his neck, when the elevator door opened, so Sho didn’t immediately see the man standing in it and stepped on the man’s impeccable black leather shoes.

“Ah, I’m sorry! I wasn’t paying attention. My apologies,” Sho bowed his head as he moved to the other corner of the elevator.

When Sho finally looked up at the man, he almost cursed out loud.

Those eyebrows. The mole. The aristocratic nose. And the lips. Matsumoto Jun, manager of the department two floors up from his, all elegant and still looking fresh at 2:30 in the morning.

Damn. Why did it have to be Matsumoto Jun?

Matsumoto did not say anything. The only indication he heard Sho’s apology was a slight bow of his head and a quick glance at the paper bag Sho was holding.

Sho looked down at his own shirt and tie. They were all rumpled and skewed, but at Sho’s current state of exhaustion, he really could not be bothered to fix them.

Sho was a bit at a loss. Should he say something? They were technically working for the same company, and he could consider Matsumoto as his colleague. But they’re not friends. The level of their shared existence did not even qualify as acquaintances. Sho could count on one hand the number of times he had any direct interaction with Matsumoto. Despite entering the company at the same time, Matsumoto was already a department head and Sho was just an assistant department head, so that made Matsumoto somewhat like Sho’s senior, and maybe he should say something respectful like ‘good work today’ or maybe Matsumoto wouldn’t appreciate hearing that from someone he barely knew and this was Sho assuming that Matsumoto actually remembered him. But he should say something, Sho finally decided. For the sake of the company’s unity and as fellow company employees.

“Ma-“ There was a loud ping and the elevator door opened to the first floor's lobby.

Matsumoto gave a small bow and then walked away. Sho closed his mouth and followed, only a little bit embarrassed. Certainly, Matsumoto didn’t realize that he was about to say something. Yes, definitely. Okay. No harm done.

Sho watched as Matsumoto walked towards the exit and heard the security officer greet him with “Ah! Thanks for the hard work! You’re going home early today, Matsumoto-san.”

Going home early? If 2:30 in the morning is early for Matsumoto, what time did he usually go home? Sho shook his head in disbelief and only caught the last of what Matsumoto was saying.

“Thanks for the hard work, Murakami-san.”

Matsumoto Jun had a reputation in their company. Matstumoto Jun expected his people to work hard, but he himself worked harder. The first time Sho met Matsumoto was during the orientation seminar for all the new employees in the company. Matsumoto had arrived a little late, sat on the only remaining seat beside Sho. He took a quick glance at Sho and shrugged. Matsumoto then took out a thermos flask, opened it, and Sho smelled coffee. Normal enough, except that he took out a bottle of energy drink and dumped half of its contents into the flask. Matsumoto then murmured, more like talking to himself than to anyone in particular, and said, ‘This could probably kill me but well,’ shrugged and took a large swig off his coffee-energy drink hybrid. Sho stared at him in horror and waited for the man to collapse then and there, but surprisingly – or not – the man stayed alive. But more than the caffeine content of the drink – which Sho vowed was probably a lethal dose – Sho was actually more concerned about the taste. That hybrid drink was most probably disgusting to say the least.

Recalling that Matsumoto Jun made Sho smile a little. It made him wonder if Matsumoto still fancied coffee-energy drink hybrid drinks.

Sho took his time walking towards the exit. Partially because of exhaustion and partially because he was avoiding the possibility of catching up with Matsumoto outside. As he passed by Murakami, he was greeted with the usual ‘good work today” and “You’re going home later than usual, Sakurai-san. Please take care on the way home.”

Sho thanked Murakami again with a soft smile and reminded him to stay warm. When Sho stepped out of the building, he was hit with a cold gust of wind that almost made him want to go back inside. He zipped his down coat all the way up the neck and wrapped his muffler up to his nose. He regretted not bringing his gloves, but he made do by pulling the sleeves down to his hands. If he put his mind to it, he could probably make it home in twenty minutes by foot, but he was tired and it was cold and he still needed to wash Blankie. He stepped into the corner of the street and was glad when he saw an empty cab.

The next day, Sho came to work all fresh and ready at 9:02 am. He usually came in at 9:30, but they had a meeting at ten and he wanted to make sure all the reports and presentations were ready before the meeting.

“Sakurai.”

“Ah, Murao-san. Good morning. I was just reviewing the reports for the meeting,” Sho greeted Murao with a small bow.

“As always, you are prepared. Sakurai, can you please come into my office for a while,” Murao said with a gentle smile. But Sho knew that it must be something really important for Murao to call him out minutes before an important meeting.

Sho politely excused himself as he entered Murao’s office. He glanced at the rows of plaques adorning one side of the office wall, all some form of recognition of the Murao’s hard work and long service in the company. Murao gestured to Sho to sit on the couch, while he himself sat on the single sofa chair beside it.

“I heard you worked late again last night,” Murao said knowingly.

Sho looked down before responding. “I know you told me to not overdo it, but there were just some things I needed to finish last night. It’s nothing to worry about. I don’t feel overworked or anything like that.”

Murao didn’t look satisfied with Sho’s answer and only looked back at him, still with that gentle smile.

“I also took a nap while I was here so, I feel absolutely well-rested,” Sho continued.

And when Murao still didn’t say anything, Sho realized what exactly it was Murao wanted to hear from him.

“I promise to avail the overtime compensation leave I’ve accumulated by the end of the month,” Sho said cautiously.

“That’s what I wanted to hear, Sakurai!” Murao said with a wide smile. “I expect your leave permission form on my table before the end of the day. And it better ask for a leave of at least seven working days, excluding weekends, Sakurai.”

Sho could only nod in agreement.

“I told you, didn’t I? You need a healthy balance between work and rest, Sakurai. Or else you’re going to burn yourself out before you even reach fifty years old,” Murao said enthusiastically, giving Sho a light tap on his shoulder.

Sho highly doubted that, but it would not be wise to contradict his superior. Murao had a reputation in the company – if he was going home for the day, then everyone in the department should go home as well. Despite this, their department was one of the most productive departments in their company. Maybe there was something right behind Murao’s way of doing things. But then, there was also that rumor – had Murao been just a little bit more dedicated, more hardworking, he would have made it to as high as vice president. But personally, Sho could not see that. Sho thought that had Murao been offered the position, he would have declined it.

Murao then slowly stood up and walked up to the large glass window, a pensive look on his face.

“A new year is coming. Surely, there will be some changes.” Murao then looked back at Sho with a wide smile and said, “Let’s work hard to keep up.”

Sakurai could only nod with a soft “yes”. Something about Murao’s demeanor was different, Sho thought. It was as if Murao knew something was about to happen. Or maybe, Sho was just overthinking. Maybe all the lack of sleep had finally caught up with him.

## II. Soba

* * *

Sho splashed cold water on his face, for once not minding the messy wet patches on the sleeves and collar of his crisp white shirt, nor did he mind the water droplets on his once spotless leather shoes. He had more important things to worry about than the present state of his clothes.

Sho looked up and watched his own reflection, the harsh white light of the toilet highlighting the faint wrinkles at the corner of his eyes. The dark bags under his eyes, the slight sagging at his cheeks - suddenly, Sho looked like all of his thirty-eight years, and what kind of thirty-eight years had they been?

Sakurai Sho thought that it was ridiculous how some people live their entire lives searching for a meaning to their existence. Sho thought that people could simply let their existence just be that – an existence. They are alive, they breathe, they have goals – it may be a goal as immediate as their next meal, or it may be something more far off, such as the number of grandchildren they would like to have. Or they may simply live their lives simply for the purpose of living – ‘goals’ were just incidental.

For Sho, adding another complicated layer to this already complicated world was not worth it. And so, at the tender age of twelve, he decided that his only goal in life would be to not end up being mediocre in anything he chose to do. That mentality served him pretty well for twenty-seven years. He graduated top of his class in high school, balancing his academics with his extracurricular activities of kendo, piano lessons, calligraphy and oil painting. Granted, the only thing he fairly mastered was the piano, but it was a good experience to try all those other things and realize early on that he had no aptitude for them. His application was accepted into a prestigious private university – which made his father really proud – and he graduated in the top ten of his class. During the last few weeks of his senior year in college, he went to a short series of nerve-wracking job interviews, and received offers for a position in all of the companies he applied in. Of course, Sho chose the one which offered him the best salary and career prospect. And so, Sakurai Sho, twenty-two years old, started his career at J-Storm Corporations.

His life had its own challenges and problems, but it’s generally flowing in a predictable way that suited Sho just right. The only thing that twelve year-old Sho could not have predicted of his older self was how Sho would end up going against the grain of social expectations – being gay. It’s not a bad thing, but it added a degree of difficulty since Sho was unable to fulfill some expectations from his family. But the fact that he was gay didn’t change the degree of his perseverance and diligence and attitude in life. His life up to this point was not filled with bursts and peaks of excitement, but neither was it filled with extreme lows and unhappiness. To say the least, Sho was satisfied with his life.

Until Matsumoto Jun.

Even thinking about it now made Sho’s eyelids twitch in irritation. His neck muscles tensed and he sensed the start of a headache. 

“ _’It’s been decided’_ my ass,” Sho grumbled and cursed. He opened the faucet again and used the cold water to cool his brewing temper.

“How fitting.”

Sho’s eyes turned sharply to another man’s reflection and saw Matsumoto Jun leaning against the white tiled wall. He looked so composed that Sho fought the urge to open the faucet again and splash some water on Matsumoto’s pristine suit. Matsumoto was staring back at him, as if daring him to do what he was thinking.

Sho stared back, palms flat on the sink counter, shoulders tensed and somehow ready to attack.

Matsumoto exhaled a deep sigh with a resigned look on his face and then walked towards the paper towel dispenser, took a bunch of them, and then offered them to Sho.

“Here.”

Sho took the paper towels hesitantly and wiped his face and hands dry.

“Thanks,” was all Sho could say, not directly looking at Matsumoto.

“We need to talk about this,” Matsumoto said, looking at Sho through their reflections on the large mirror.

“I know that,” Sho countered. “But I need time to take it all in. I didn’t know about this.”

That seemed to hit a nerve with Matsumoto. A slight crease formed between his brows and his mouth turned just a bit down. “You’re hinting that I was somehow in on this plan, but we’re on the same boat here,” Matsumoto’s voice sounded like he was trying very hard not to sound angry. “I only heard about this the same time you did. Both of us were in that room, caught off guard.”

Yes. Yes, they were and Sho suddenly wished Matsumoto had not mentioned that blasted meeting.

The day had started just like any other working day for Sho. He arrived early to prepare the reports, Murao called him reminding him to take time off from work, and then he went to the meeting. It was supposed to be the usual – department managers and assistant managers present their annual reports, give their plans and objectives for the following year, congratulations, good luck, shake hands, bow to the bosses, get reminded about the company party in this day so and so, everyone goes back to their departments and work the day away.

But today, after all the departments gave their reports, J-Storm Corporations president and chief executive officer Kimura Midoriko called Murao to the front. And then everything from there went downhill.

Murao was retiring before the end of next year. He was leaving. He said he’s already 64 years old, single, a department manager, and had been working for the company for 40 years, and that _that_ was how he wanted to leave the company - while he was still considered useful and not simply a shadow of his past self. Murao then looked straight at Sho’s eyes and told him, “I leave the rest up to you, Sakurai.”

There was a round of applause, hands clapping Sho at the back, hands shaking hands with Murao. And then President Kimura stood up at the podium and made an announcement that put the joyous mood in the room into utter shocked silence.

“After Murao-san’s retirement, we will be having some changes in the company. I believe in evolving and adapting to the needs of the times, and we as a company cannot stay idle. Otherwise, we’d die out just like all the other companies in recent years.” President Kimura emphasized her words by turning off the presentation she was about to give.

“Sakurai-san, Matsumoto-san.” Sho and Matsumoto were suddenly on alert. Sho did not recall doing anything that would warrant a special mention by the president.

“After Murao-san retires, your departments will be merged into one.”

There were mumbling and whispering and a few gasps.

“And I do not believe in co-headship in a department. That would only result in problems. So only one of you will eventually take over the headship position.”

That sounded logical enough. But for some reason, Sho felt like there was this heavy air clinging to him. And what the president said next made Sho’s entire being turn cold.

“So the two of you will have to prove yourselves worthy of the position. One of you will get promoted and take the headship of the combined departments. The other one, well,” President Kimura gave a deliberate shrug, ‘let’s just say the other one has to start from rock bottom.”

And now here they were, having a sad excuse of a stare down at the men’s toilet. It was Sho who looked away first, then with a deep sigh faced Matsumoto again but with less hostility in his eyes.

“Alright. Yes, we need to talk about this. We basically have no choice about it,” Sho said.

Matsumoto was about to say something when the door opened and a small-framed man walked in. When he saw them, an amused smile lit his face.

“Well, I didn’t think I’d find the two of you looking all chummy after that little meeting there.”

“Hey, Nino,” Sho said with a small wave.

“Nino.” The way Matsumoto said Nino’s name sounded like he was not looking forward to Nino’s presence.

“Wow. Your enthusiastic greetings feel like a warm balm for this cold heart of mine,” Nino said exaggeratedly as he shuffled his way to one of the urinals. Ninomiya Kazunari. Head of the Information System and Technology Development Department, one of the few friends Sho had in the company. Allegedly one of Matsumoto’s closest friends – unverified information from the cafeteria lady, who shared the information to Sato Shori, the most junior member of the Accounting and Financial Systems Department where Sho belonged.

Sho and Matsumoto didn’t say anything, the silence of the toilet was only filled by the sounds Nino was making. He was whistling a tune which Sho was certain he heard in one of those TV commercials.

“You know, you two can talk even though I’m here, right? Or is it some big secret you’re not supposed to talk about in front of anyone?” Nino was looking at Sho and Matsumoto through their reflections on the mirror. “Right. As we speak, the news of the Sakurai-Matsumoto war is already being dutifully spread by the gossipers.”

“It’s not a war,” Sho and Matsumoto said in unison, for which Nino only laughed.

“Want to hang out with me in my office,” Nino offered. He didn’t wait for Sho and Matsumoto to respond and just took their hands and pulled them along.

“Did you wash your hands?” Matsumoto asked.

“You know I did,” Nino said as he smiled at the curious staff they walked past.

Nino was right, Sho thought. Everyone in the company probably already knew of the conditions the president laid out for them. People would either start whispering among themselves or follow them with wide and curious stares as they walked along the hallways and rode the elevator.

Nino’s department was mostly empty, except for his five department staff and the large server computer they housed in their office. Nino, as the head of the department, had his own office, which looked identical to Murao’s office except for the multiple computer monitors and the absence of any welcoming warmth. The department’s office was really cold, colder than the rest of the building. “The temperature here is set for that monster back there,” Nino said, pointing at the large server. “So we, mere humans, have to endure it in exchange for fast internet and connectivity and what not. It’s not so bad when the entire team is here – more warm bodies. But most of them are on the floor doing maintenance. So today, we freeze.”

“Sit wherever,” Nino offered. Sho sat on one of the high-backed computer chairs while Matsumoto went straight for the couch and unceremoniously put on the huge jacket lying around.

“I haven’t washed that in a month,” Nino said.

Matsumoto wrinkled his nose but kept the jacket on anyways.

“So, what did the president talk to you about in her office?” Nino asked. As always direct to the point.

Sho and Matsumoto shared a knowing look before turning their eyes away.

“Oh come on. Spill the beans, J.”

“J?” Sho asked.

“J. Jun-pon. Macchan.”

Sho looked at Matsumoto’s scowling face and fought the urge to laugh. Sho thought he’d never get the courage to call Matsumoto any of those. Nino had some very interesting nicknames for Matsumoto.

“So what was it?” Nino asked again. He swiveled his office chair from side to side, shifted his gaze between Sho and Matsumoto and waited. He wasn’t in any hurry.

“Fine,” Matsumoto finally said, “you nosy kid.”

Nino answered with a conspiratorial wink at Sho and a smirk – Sho was sure it was meant to annoy – at Matsumoto.

“Sakurai-san and I were tasked to draw up a project proposal for an idol group called Soyokaze – heard of them? – for their twentieth year debut anniversary. They are currently in their eighteenth year, entering nineteenth, and they want to debut in the international market.”

Nino looked at Sho as if asking to confirm what Matsumoto said and Sho answered with a brisk nod.

“Who the hell is Soyokaze?” Nino asked.

“Exactly,” was Matsumoto’s answer and a light bulb seemed to have been turned on in Nino’s head.

“They are asking you to draw up a project proposal for the international debut of an unknown idol group?!”

Sho sighed. That was basically what they were being asked to do. But having to hear it that way made the task even more impossible.

“Why are they even asking two people doing corporate jobs to come up with a project proposal for an idol group?” Nino looked from Sho to Matsumoto, and then back. Sho on the other hand was just staring at the ring mark on Nino’s table from where he probably put a cold or warm cup without using a coaster. Sho had no answer to those questions. Sho was probably the least likely person to handle this kind of project. He didn’t do promotions or anything related to the entertainment industry.

“And we need to come up with only one proposal, but the result will get one of us promoted and the other ‘back to square one’.” Sho didn’t think such extremes were necessary. Neither he nor Matsumoto were some mediocre company staff who got shuffled between one department after another and ended up always being at the entry level position. Matsumoto was head of his department and Sho was assistant head of his. No, they weren’t green at their jobs.

Nino said nothing for a while and then as if Sho and Matsumoto just told him a piece of boring gossip, he rested his chin on his palm and flatly said, “Well that’s an interesting turn of events.”

Sho and Matsumoto were quietly observing each other. They had never worked with each other before and maybe Matsumoto was trying to gauge Sho the way Sho was gauging him right now. Sho had heard rumors about Matsumoto – mostly good but some were downright incomprehensible.

Sho’s train of thought was sharply interrupted when Nino clapped his hands and loudly announced, “Alright, that’s that. You can leave now. Thanks for the chit-chat. If you need anything, you can come here anytime.”

Matsumoto was already walking out the office door and Sho followed more slowly. He wasn’t too keen to walk along Matsumoto through the hallway then into the elevator.

“Thanks, Nino. And, ah,” Sho hesitated, “can you keep this a secret for now? We still don’t know what we’re going to do about it.”

Nino nodded with a soft smile. “What would happen if you refused?”

“I don’t think we have a choice.”

No. Sho knew. They didn’t have a choice.

The first couple of days after the announcement, Sho tried to go about his daily tasks like nothing had changed. But it seemed like everyone else had other things in mind. There were stares, especially from people outside their department. There was the sudden silence whenever he walked into a room. Sho wondered if people could get any more obvious that they were talking about him or Matsumoto or the whole messed up situation the two were in.

At one point, one of his juniors in the department followed him all the way to the toilet and stood beside his urinal just to awkwardly start a conversation while Sho was doing his business.

“Sakurai-aniki! I will help you with anything you need. You just tell me and I will do it for you,” Ueda passionately offered his services as Sho tried not to make eye contact while he was peeing.

“I will not allow that Matsumoto to undermine all the work you’ve done the past years in this company. Do you want me to beat him up?” Ueda had his right fist clenched and was doing punching motions in the air to prove his point.

“Ah, Ueda-kun, I don’t need you to beat anyone up now or at any point,” Sho finally said as he walked around Ueda to go to the sink and started washing his hands. “And Matsumoto-san is not undermining me or my work. But thank you for your offer, I’ll be sure to keep that in my mind. I might need your help in the future,” Sho said as he offered his cleaned and dried hand to Ueda for a firm handshake. Ueda looked delighted and firmly took Sho’s offered hand.

“Thank you very much, aniki!”

Sho patted Ueda’s shoulder before walking out. It was a strange encounter but somehow, it felt good to know that someone was willing to help him. When the president gave them the task, there was an understanding that they were expected to still do their regular duties. The project proposal was an additional job they had to do on top of everything else. She did not tell them to form a team, or not to form a team. It seemed like she was leaving it up to Sho and Matsumoto to figure it out and do it their way.

And speaking of Matsumoto, Sho had not heard anything from the man. Sho was not sure if he should be the one to initiate the dialogue, or should he wait a few more days? If Matsumoto was anything like Sho, then he probably also needed a while to get his thoughts together and let the situation sink in.

Right. He decided that he should stay off Matsumoto’s radar for a few more days. Sho needed the time to sort out his own ideas as well.

And so, it was unfortunate that the moment Sho stepped into the cafeteria, the first person he saw was Matsumoto, standing in front of Sho’s favorite soba stall. Sho would have skipped soba for lunch today but the stall's staff, Megumi, had already seen him and smiled expectantly at him.

“Good morning, Sakurai-san!” Megumi greeted Sho happily. “Are you having your usual today?”

“Yes, thank you,” Sho replied. From his peripheral vision, he knew Matsumoto had taken a quick look at him before returning his attention to the menu selection in front of him.

“I’ll have the kakiage soba, please,” Matsumoto finally said.

“Certainly! One kakiage soba, coming up!” Megumi said happily. She went about preparing their meals, not seeming to notice the cold tension between her two customers. They both watched Megumi prepare their meals, Sho with his hands inside his pants pockets, Matsumoto standing with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Here are your orders. One kitsune soba for Sakurai-san and one kakiage soba for Matsumoto-san. Thank you very much! Enjoy your meal.”

After Megumi’s enthusiastic spiel, they paid for their food separately and spent a few awkward moments trying to look for a place to sit down.

“Sho-chan! J! Here!” It was Nino, waving at them and motioning for them to take the empty seats in his table.

“I think we should just go over there at Nino’s,” Matsumoto said his eyes directed at Nino who was still waving at them with his thin, bendy arms.

“Okay,” was all Sho could say, and then followed behind Matsumoto as they crossed the room to get to Nino’s table at the other end of the cafeteria.

“This may seem like the most unattractive seat in the house, but this is actually the most logical place to sit,” Nino began as Sho and Matsumoto took their seats. “Sure, it’s far from the food stalls, but it’s near enough the water and drinks refill station. It’s farthest from the foot traffic, so you don’t accidentally bump into people you are intentionally avoiding. It's the table nearest to the fire exit. And it’s the table farthest from the big bosses’ private dining area.”

Yes, there was a small enclosed space in the cafeteria reserved for the CEO, COO and the like. Although they rarely went to the cafeteria for the meals, in the off chance they did, they’d use that room.

Sho never thought of it that way, but Nino seemed to have the right idea with this one.

“When did you figure that out?” Matsumoto asked nonchalantly, like he was not really surprised to be hearing this from Nino.

“The first day of work,” Nino said smugly with his usual grin and two-finger salute.

“And you didn’t bother to share this information with me, because?” Matsumoto asked before taking a sip from his tea.

“Because you are this sociable nut who needs constant social interaction, and don’t you even deny it, Jun-pon,” Nino said without accusation. Matsumoto didn’t even try to deny it.

The table became quiet after that as they all went about eating their lunch – Nino and his katsu curry, Sho and Matsumoto and their soba. But uncharacteristically, Nino finished his food faster than Sho and Matsumoto and informed them that he had to go ahead of them.

Watching Nino walk away, Sho couldn’t help but feel that Nino had set this up to give him and Matsumoto an opportunity to talk.

“You think he did that on purpose?” Matsumoto asked.

“Yeah, I’d bet my next month’s salary he did,” Sho said, which earned him a small laugh from Matsumoto.

There was another long stretch of silence, filled only with the sounds of them slurping their noodles and the background of other people’s chatter.

“At some point, we really need to start talking about this whole Soyokaze project,” Sho said.

“I know. But I don’t know a single thing about Soyokaze and idol groups and Journey’s Jimusho, other than they sing and dance and make movies and dramas and have all these girls yelling ‘kya!’ at them,” Matsumoto said. “And yes, that is very stereotypical because the stereotype is basically the only thing I know about them.” Matsumoto looked dejected and Sho could understand the feeling of being so completely out of your comfort zone. Sho didn’t even know what the difference was between an idol group and any other group who sings.

“Maybe step one is get to know who Soyokaze is,” Sakurai said, more to himself than to Matsumoto.

“I bought all their CDs and DVDs yesterday.”

“Eh? All? Since 2001?”

“All of them.”

Matsumoto was still focused on his food and could not see the expression of disbelief on Sho’s face. Just how many hours would it take to finish all of them?

“I’ve brought half of them with me today. I’ll lend them to you.”

Rather than lending them, Sho felt that Matsumoto was not giving him a choice about it. But as he said earlier, step one was getting to know the group. And what better way to know them than to listen to their songs and watch their concerts.

“Alright. I think we could start with that,” Sho said and their eyes finally met. “Let’s start with that.”

Matsumoto nodded at him. The rest of their lunch break was spent in silence, but Sho didn’t feel that was out of place. When he and Matsumoto went back to work that afternoon, they didn’t feel like they were grasping at straws anymore. Sho went straight to his desk and began to work again, hardly taking any break. He needed to manage his time more strictly now. He had to make sure he was not spread too thin with his responsibilities and, at the same time, to make sure that he wasn’t neglecting anything.

That sounded almost impossible, even for Sho. But he was never one to balk on a challenge, one that would decide the future of his career. He was hard at work with reports, presentations, working on one spreadsheet after another. By four in the afternoon, Sho’s back was stiff and his eyes were already starting to throb. After one too many mistakes, Sho decided that it was time for a break. He stood up and stretched his arms and back, then rolled his shoulders to loosen up the tense muscles there. While he was at it, he started doing some slow squats to stimulate the blood flow in his legs.

And that was when he saw the white and blue blanket sticking out of a brown paper bag, stuck at the corner of his cubicle. He never got the chance to return it the last time – after the eventful meeting. Sho bent down to pick up the paper bag. He laid his palm against the fabric and immediately felt calm. There was something about that softness that reminded Sho of home and warmth and peace. But that blanket didn’t belong to him. He’d hate to think there was someone in this building who was missing their blanket because Sho forgot to return it.

He walked to the receptionist on their floor, ready to leave the paper bag like always. But before he could put the paper bag on the counter, their receptionist placed a large Tower Records bag in front of him.

“Ah… And these are?” Sho began to ask as he peeked inside the bag.

“Matsumoto-san came over earlier and told me to hand these over to you, Sakurai-san. He said you were already expecting this package.”

Soyokaze CDs and DVDs.

“Ah, yes. He told me about them. Uhm. Thank you.” Sho closed his hand over the handle and lifted the bag from the counter. “I’ll just take them with me.”

Sho walked back to his cubicle and was already sitting down, staring at the bag of Soyokaze merchandise when he realized he forgot to leave Blankie with the receptionist. 

“Ah well. I’ll just return them later,” Sho mumbled to himself, still staring at the twenty or so cases of singles, albums and concert DVDs. He should be grateful for Matsumoto’s preparedness and eagerness, but he wasn’t really looking forward to going through all of these.

At exactly seven in the evening, Sho left the office, rode the train, bought dinner at the convenience store, went home and put on his first Soyokaze album in his music player as he went through his usual home night routine. 

After an hour or so, Sho put on the next album. And then the next. By the time Sho went to bed, he had already listened to three full albums and five singles plus their side B songs.

“This is bad,” were the last words in Sho’s mind before sleep finally claimed him.

## III. Sake

* * *

“Would you prefer me to be honest or to be nice?” Nino asked, his right cheek resting against his palm and his gaze directed at Sho and Matsumoto.

After a long pause, he added, “It can’t be both.”

Sho shifted on his chair, the only indication that he heard Nino. He looked at Matsumoto, who was still looking at the paused video on his laptop.

“I think we’d like the honest opinion,” Sho said, assuming that Matsumoto wanted that as well. He took a glance at Matsumoto’s face and saw a slight rise of his brow before he gave a slight nod.

“Very well,” Nino sat up as straight as his normally hunched back could and started tapping his thighs like a drum.

“They’re bad,” Nino matched his words with a slight widening of his eyes. “Right now, I kind of want you to pay me for the thirty minutes we spent watching that video, because those are thirty minutes of wasted time I’m never getting back.”

Sho somehow expected Nino’s answer. There was no going around it. Soyokaze was not really that good. Sure, you could say that they could sing and dance, but their dancing hardly synced and their voices just didn’t meld well. There were attempts at harmonizing, but those were utter failures as well. And the concert itself was just plain boring. Sho had to give kudos to Nino for making it through the thirty-minute mark without even once leaving his chair or nodding off to sleep. Sho didn’t even make it past ten minutes before he had to pause the video. And this was supposed to be their best concert to date.

Sho once again looked at Matsumoto, who hadn’t said a word since they started. Sho looked at him closely and was surprised by how good Matsumoto looked when he was not triggering Sho’s competitive streak. Sho thought that there were so many things to appreciate about that face, too bad about his personality. He was just about to shift his train of thought when Matsumoto suddenly gave him a sharp look, and Sho wondered if he somehow said that last bit out loud.

“We can do this,” Matsumoto declared.

“Huh? What?” Sho said, struck by the look in Matsumoto’s eyes. It was the first time he had seen it, and Sho could not put a name on it.

Matsumoto then shifted his attention to Nino. “Thanks Nino. That really helped. I think we can actually do this. Right, Sakurai?”

Sho could only nod. They didn’t really have any choice.

“Right!” Matsumoto then started to gather his things and Sho followed. “Thanks Nino. This really helped.”

“Anytime,” Nino said with a quick two-finger salute, and before Sho and Matsumoto could even stand from their seats, Nino was already pounding the keys of his Nintendo.

They walked out of Nino’s office and started walking towards the elevator bank, and then down to the first floor and out of the building. There was a small park just a block away from their company building. They needed some fresh air. Preferably, fresh air away from their workplace.

“I need a drink,” Matsumoto said in a low voice.

“It’s only a little past four in the afternoon,” was Sho’s only reply, implying that a proper company man wouldn’t be drinking at this hour.

“I know a place.”

“Of course, you do. Let’s go.”

“They are either deliberately setting us up for failure, or they overestimated what we can do,” Matsumoto declared before pouring another generous amount of sake in his and Sho’s cups. There was the tiniest bit of hesitation in Matsumoto’s movement, almost like an attempt to correct a slight overshoot of his hands. His eyes looked glazed and there was a distinct red tinge over his cheeks and ears. He was obviously drunk and Sho was trying not to join him in that state. 

Sho caught the shop owner’s attention, a man in his early forties who was sporting an afro with a bright yellow band around his hairline and telling all his customers to call him ‘Bando’. Sho mouthed “water’’, raised two fingers, to which Bando replied with a nod and a smile. Bando and Matsumoto greeted each other casually and the shop-owner knew exactly what to bring when Matsumoto said that he wanted something stronger today. Even now, he didn’t seem that surprised to see Matsumoto in his state.

Returning his attention to Matsumoto, Sho thought that setting him and Matsumoto to fail would not bring any benefit to the company. But maybe Matsumoto was right that the company was overestimating what they could do in such a short time. Just a little over a year to bring a virtually unknown idol group into international stardom was next to impossible at the pace they were going.

“Here,” Sho placed one of the glasses of water in front of Matsumoto, purposely pulling the sake cup nearer himself.

“Hmm?” Matsumoto gave Sho an unfocused stare, the kind that lasted a few beats too long, before taking the offered glass with a slight nod. Sho wondered what that stare was all about but dismissed it just another one of the many peculiarities of drunk Matsumoto. 

First was that drunk Matsumoto stopped using formal language just around the same time his ears started turning a bright shade of pink. Second was that drunk Matsumoto would remove his contact lenses and replace them with his eyeglasses before he started filing two cups of sake for himself. Third was that drunk Matsumoto didn’t seem to know when to stop drinking once he started filling two cups a time. Sho glanced at the two empty and one halfway done sake bottles beside them and shook his head. 

And fourth was that drunk Matsumoto stared. Sho first caught him staring at his left ear, a slight furrow forming in the middle of his thick brows. And then, after a while, Matsumoto shifted his stare to Sho's forehead, a wide forehead, Sho knew. He got teased about it often enough growing up. And then Matsumoto unabashedly stared at his wonderfully sloping shoulders, one aspect of Sho’s body that took Sho a very long time to accept. Matsumoto never said anything. He just stared. But what irked Sho was that Matsumoto would not even look the least bit apologetic for staring and just picked up where he left off in their conversation, as if he had not been gawking at Sho just a few moments before.

Sho did a bit of staring himself, but unlike Matsumoto, he had the decency to do it when Matsumoto was not looking. He stared at the line of Matsumoto’s nose and the moles dotting his face, particularly the one hiding just under his lower lip. But Sho took particular interest over the small, faint scars scattered over Matsumoto’s cheeks. Acne scars, Sho thought, not that it took anything away from Matsumoto’s striking features. On the contrary, it added more character to his already striking features.

“Are you trying to say that we are going to fail?” Sho asked, trying to veer his train of thought back to their conversation.

“No, of course we’re not.” There was a trace of steel in Matsumoto’s voice.

“You’re right, we’re not going to fail. I don’t do ‘fail’,” Sho said truthfully and Matsumoto had the audacity to laugh, a slightly high-pitched kind that shook his shoulders and almost made his eyes look like half-moons.

“Something funny about what I said?” Was Matsumoto actually laughing at him? If Matsumoto wasn’t drunk, Sho would have taken more offense. But Matsumoto was drunk and Sho got distracted by how Matsumoto’s face changed so much with that simple laugh. Sho decided that it was a shame that Matsumoto so rarely laughed. At least when he’s around.

“No, nothing like that. It’s just that Nino was right,” Matsumoto slurred, only a faint smile remaining on his face.

“Nino? What did he say?”

“That you…”

Sho couldn’t hear the rest of it. Because Matsumoto closed his eyes, head landing against the wooden table with a soft thud, and promptly fell asleep.

_“This better be important, Sho-chan.”_

“Ah, Nino. Sorry for calling so late.”

_“As you should be.”_

Sho took a deep breath and hoped his patience would last as he clumsily shifted the very heavy and very drunk Matsumoto at his side. They were standing outside the bar, Sho propping Matsumoto against the brick wall using his shoulder and hands, while the other hand held the phone. For the love of all things sane, Matsumoto refused to open his eyes, no matter how much shaking and shouting Sho did. Sho tried sprinkling cold water on Matsumoto’s face, but that only ended in wet clothes and an angry, sleeping Matsumoto, if that was even possible. It was four in the morning and right now, Matsumoto was Sho’s least favorite person in the world.

“Yes, yes. Listen, do you know where Matsumoto lives?”

There was a sharp gasp at the other end of the line. _“Don’t tell me! You’re already in that kind of relationship?!_ ” Sho could hear the smirk in Nino’s voice.

“Nino! It’s been a long day and I’d rather not discuss what you mean by that.”

Sho could hear Nino laughing at the other end of the line. “Nino? Are you listening?”

_“Uhn. So why do you need to know where Jun-pon lives?”_

“Because he’s drunk and passed out, and I’d rather not leave him on the side of the street for the rest of the night,” Sho sighed.

_“Oh. What makes you think I know where he lives?”_

“Because you’re the lead IT in the company and can probably hack the human resources database and look for Matsumoto’s address,” Sho fought the urge to grind his teeth. Matsumoto was not exactly being a very cooperative drunk. Sho tried looking, but there was nowhere in Jun’s possession where his address was written and Nino was the only one he could call. The bit about him being the lead IT was true, but the other reason Sho called Nino was because he was probably the only one who would still be awake at this hour – playing games, Sho would bet his balls on that. Matsumoto chose that moment to completely lose control of his body, putting all of his weight on Sho’s sloping shoulder and side, and Sho wanted to cry.

_“True, I could probably do that. But I can do better.”_

“Huh?” Sho tried again, and failed, to prop up Matsumoto against the wall.

_“I actually know where Jun-pon lives.”_

Sho hung up the phone and waited for Nino’s message. When it came, Sho breathed a sigh of relief that Nino actually knew where Matsumoto lived. Sho hailed a cab and manhandled Matsumoto in the back-seat. Sho then followed after Matsumoto before realizing that he left both of their bags on the sidewalk. He hastily climbed out of the cab to grab them and went back in, just to find Matsumoto sleeping peacefully, almost taking up the entire backseat space. Sho sighed for the nth time that night, gave Matsumoto a slight shove, slipped in the cab and gave the driver Matsumoto’s address. 

The navigation system eventually led them to an apartment complex in Toshima. Sho paid the cab driver their fare and made sure to get the receipt, just so he could show it to Matsumoto the next day. Sho had already rummaged through Matsumoto’s bag while in the cab, hoping he’d find a security card or a set of keys or something. But he couldn’t find anything. That left him no choice but to go through Matsumoto’s pockets, which earned him a curious look from the cab driver. Sho eventually found it in Matsumoto’s right back pocket, a thin metal-plastic-like-hybrid-thing security card with just the apartment number written on it. Sho used that card to go through the front door. There were no receptionists or security personnel, which was well and good for Sho because he really didn’t have it in him anymore to explain who he was and his relationship to Matsumoto and the entire situation in general.

Sho made his way to the elevator, still half-carrying, half-dragging Matsumoto, who was, of all things, softly snoring against Sho’s ear. The elevator was the kind that needed the security card and would only bring you to the floor your card has access to. Sho thought it was kind of fancy, but he was not really surprised. The entire place kind of reminded him of Matsumoto. Stoic, well-kempt, and sparkling.

“I am definitely going to get that cab fare back, Matsumoto,” Sho puffed as he made way the last few meters towards Matsumoto’s door.

“And you are definitely going to have to pay me back for all this carrying,” Sho complained.

They passed two apartment units before reaching unit 3104, an odd unit number considering they are on the fifth floor and there are only three rooms. Maybe just another security measure. Or maybe they let the tenant name their units.

Sho opened the apartment and, using all his remaining energy, slowly lowered Matsumoto to the genkan, leaning him against the wall, and removed Matsumoto’s shoes. Sho knew that he should appreciate more how shiny Matsumoto’s floor was, or how many shoes he had on the shelf beside the genkan, or how his lights automatically switched on when they entered. But Sho had better things to do and just stored those little pieces of information at the back of his mind. Sho then removed his own shoes and went through all the steps of pulling Matsumoto up and dragged-carried him towards the couch (why did Matsumoto’s room have to be so big and the couch so far), where Sho finally, finally, with a soft exhausted grunt, let Matsumoto lie down. If Sho was going to be honest, it was almost like dropping Matsumoto rather than laying him down. But Sho was just too tired and no one else would tell him off about it. And if he accidentally, definitely accidentally, hit Matsumoto’s arm against the table's edge… Well, he’d apologize about that tomorrow. 

Matsumoto only stirred a little through the entire chaos. Matsumoto probably sensed that he was in his space because he just settled in and continued to sleep. Sho almost started to leave, but he hesitated. Matsumoto looked so awkward in his bulky coat and suit. Sho was already too tired and didn’t want to be bothered with Matsumoto’s clothes as well. But Sho imagined how awful he’d feel the next day if he slept in those bulky clothes. Some parts would probably dig into Matsumoto’s skin, and that would be quite painful. With a soft tut, Sho went through the trouble of removing Matsumoto’s jacket, untucking his shirt and removing his belt. By the time Sho was done, there was a thin sheen of sweat at the back of his neck and that made Sho realize that even Matsumoto’s heater turned on automatically. Fancy indeed.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you later at work,” Sho mumbled and made sure to leave a glass of water on the coffee table before he left Matsumoto’s apartment and made his weary way home.

## IV. Sushi

* * *

Sho was late for work. Late for work. Late.

Sho kept repeating those words in his head as he swayed with the train's movement. He slept through his alarm clock, and he had no one else to blame for it but Matsumoto Jun. Sho opened his eyes this morning, slightly disoriented about the day and time, and cursed when he looked at his bedside clock. It was 9:30 on a Friday morning. No, he was not hung-over, he simply got too tired and went home too late (or early, if he was going to be technical about it) and now he had ruined his schedule.

Sho looked at his mobile planner app for the nth time as the train doors opened once again and droves of other late company men and women hurried inside, pinching Sho deeper into his already pinched position at the middle of the crowded train. Yamanote trains at this hour were not very forgiving. Sho cursed Matsumoto again in his head, but he knew that it wasn’t really his fault. Sho just needed someone to blame because the stress from work, the uncertainty of his future in the company, and the looming failure above his head were starting to meld together into this one big ball of doubt and fear, and it was starting to unhinge everything that defined Sakurai Sho.

Sho mentally shook himself from his dark thoughts and started shifting his schedule for the day. He would have to make some last minute changes, make some phone calls and skip all forms of meals, but it should work out. Sho knew that four meetings in a day was really cutting it too close, but they had a deadline to meet.

At his stop, he had to make his way through a thick layer of men and women, mumbling countless ‘excuse me’ before he could finally make it out the train doors and breathe fresh, chilled air. He hurried through the stairs, foregoing the escalator, and instead jogged up the stairs and brisk walked towards the exits. It was going to be a long day. He needed to start it right away.

There were several shocked looks and a few murmurs when he walked in at 10:45 in the morning for work, and Sho only answered them with a thin smile. With long strides, he headed straight for Tabe Mikako, their division’s general assistant secretary. She was technically an assistant to Murao’s secretary, but she often acted as an assistant secretary to Sho. Sho went up to her with a ‘good morning’ and a bright smile. 

“Tabe-chan, I’m in a bit of a pinch,” Sho started, giving her what he hoped was an apologetic smile.

“What is it, Sakurai-san?” Sho had to give it to Tabe for always having that wide smile. It was enough to make Sho feel less tense.

“Some things came up and these meetings need to be shifted. Can you make some calls?” Sho slipped a piece of paper on Tabe’s desk. “Here are the people who need to be called and the company they belong to, their original meeting schedules, and the alternative meeting time,” Sho said, pointing to the neat columns on the paper.

Tabe nodded as Sho spoke and seemingly unperturbed by the task at hand, gave Sho a big smile, “I’ll get right to it.”

“You’re a lifesaver, Tabe-chan. Thank you.”

Sho briskly walked to his own office space, making a mental note to get something for Tabe the next time he goes out of town. Sho stood in front of his desk and sighed at the piles of documents on his incoming tray. How did these people finish all this work within the week? And now he had to go through all of them before Murao can sign them. Maybe he trained them too well, Sho thought with a smirk, and got right down to work.

“Sakurai-san?”

_“Sakurai-san?”_

Sho looked up from his computer screen and was surprised to see Tabe standing in front of his desk.

“Ah. Tabe-chan, how long have you been standing there?” Sakurai asked when he saw the awkward smile on Tabe’s face.

“Uhm. A while, but it’s okay. You must have been concentrating very hard that you didn’t hear me,” she said kindly, but Sho knew it must have been not a pleasant experience for her.

“Is there anything you need?” Sho bent his neck left and right, trying to loosen the knots that had formed there.

“Ah. Someone is here to see you. I thought about asking you first since you’ve just finished your fourth meeting and you said not to disturb you unless it’s very important and…”

“I think Sakurai-san would think this is important,” a deep and slightly nasal voice came from a few feet away, and Sho looked up to see Matsumoto.

“Ah, I see,” Sakurai straightened his back and slightly leaned back against his chair, enjoying the slight stretch on his lower back. He had been pretty much in a hunched position all day. “Thank you, Tabe-chan. You can go now.”

Tabe turned to leave, pausing to give a slight bow as she passed by Matsumoto.

“You look awful,” Matsumoto suddenly blurted.

Any other day, Sho would have not been so bothered by that comment. But it had been a long day, and it was not over yet. And he was sleep-deprived, partially because of this man in front of him. And he was tired.

Sho took a deep breath, ready to begin his rant.

“You know what Matsumoto? I…”

“Thank you for last night.”

And just like that, Sho lost steam and slumped against his chair. “Huh?”

“Uhm. Yeah. I wanted to tell you in person, so I thought I’d try coming here to see if you were still around. Figured you’d most likely be working late again. And, Tabe-chan, was it? Your secretary? She said you’re still here and…” Matsumoto was rambling and Sho thought it was adorable.

Wait? Who said adorable?

_Adorable??!!_

Not me, Sho thought, and laughed out loud at the idea that he’d think Matsumoto was freakin’ adorable.

“Are you laughing at me?” Matsumoto asked.

“What? Oh no, sorry. No. I was just…” Sho laughed softly again. Adorable, huh.

“I was just thinking I haven’t eaten anything today and my vision is starting to swim.” It wasn’t a lie that he skipped all meals today and that he’s slightly dizzy, probably from low blood sugar and dehydration. But Matsumoto didn’t need to hear about that ‘adorable’ bit.

“Why haven’t you eaten anything today?” Matsumoto asked, taking a couple of steps towards Sho’s desk. Sho would like to think that the slight frown he’s seeing is actually Matsumoto’s concern for him.

“Hmm… schedule got a bit tight today.” Sho figured he must be really hungry because his thoughts started to run around in his head, and he had to bite back his tongue from saying anything more.

_Schedule was tight today because I was late for work, because I was exhausted and slept late, because I had to carry you home, because you were dead drunk last night, and this is not me blaming you, Matsumoto. Just saying that I was late for work._

But of course Sho didn’t say that. He just let it play in his head.

“Was that my fault?” Matsumoto asked, finally taking the last few steps so that he was standing directly in front of Sho, eyes meeting his own and Sho knew that it was not his fault.

“No, of course not. Things got tight today because of things I did. It had nothing to do about you being flat drunk last night.” Matsumtoto’s eyes widened before he schooled his face into an impassive expression. But the blush on his cheeks was a giveaway.

Sho chuckled, and this time it was really directed at Matsumoto. 

Matsumoto crossed his arms and tried to look unimpressed, but the pink tinge on his cheeks wasn’t going anywhere and it gave such a contrast to the look he was trying to project. Cool, stoic Matsumoto, all shy and blushing.

“Sorry, I just… I needed to say that,” Sho said, with a lopsided grin.

“Fine. I suppose I deserved it. But I’m usually a lot stronger to alcohol. Maybe I wasn’t in the best condition last night,” Matsumoto said, inviting himself to sit on the guest’s chair in front of Sho’s desk.

 _Tired._ Matsumoto looked tired last night. Like he had been going an entire month on only three hours of sleep a day kind of tired.

“Are you heading home soon?” Sho suddenly blurted out, completely out of topic but he needed to know.

“Me? Ah, no. I have paperwork as tall as my desk still waiting for me up there.”

Sho glanced at his watch and saw that it was almost six in the evening. It was a good time to eat, like any other time.

“I’m going to have food delivered from the sushi place down the street. What would you like?” Sho said casually, as though he had food delivered to the office every day.

“Ah great idea! Anago sushi.” Matsumoto’s face suddenly brightened, his smile wide and his eyes rounded.

“Anago sounds nice. Hmm, let me ask the others,” Sho stood up and walked to his colleagues cubicles just to find them all empty. He glanced at Murao’s office and saw that the lights were all turned off. It looked like everyone had already left.

Sho returned to his desk and picked up the phone. “Looks like it’s just us,” Sho shrugged.

Sho dialed the number of a sushi restaurant a few blocks away from their office. The restaurant was on the pricey side and didn’t usually provide delivery services, but Sho had been a loyal customer since the restaurant opened five years ago. They made sure to provide amazing service for their loyal customers. 

Sho then proceeded to order the usual mix of white and red fish sushi and sashimi set. When the manager told him they just had a very fresh haul of oyster brought in that morning, Sho added some fried oysters in his order. Then, Sho placed an order for a tray of just anago sushi and asked for two orders of their salad for the day.

Throughout the entire phone conversation, Matsumoto just sat there, his face showing an increasing amount of surprise as Sho added more and more food to his order. When Sho turned to him and mouthed _‘Anything else you want?’_ , Matsumoto only shook his head, and continued doing so in disbelief as Sho added another order of their specialty sushi mix bowl.

When Sho completed his order, he turned to Matsumoto and saw his mouth twitch and the corners of his lips turned up.

“What?” Sho asked, curious what it was that was amusing to Matsumoto.

“I don’t think ordering three meals worth of food is going to make up for the two other meals you didn’t have today,” Matsumoto said, still with that smirk on his face.

“Oh, it definitely will.”

“It’s just going to give you a stomachache.”

“No, it won’t,” Sho was sure Matsumoto was right, but he was starving and he could already feel the acids burning holes through his stomach. He really hoped the food would arrive soon.

“Okay, it’s your body,” Matsumoto said with a shrug.

Sho cleared his throat and reached for his notebook. “I met with a few people today about Soyokaze.”

“Ah, thank you very much,” Matsumoto said with a tiny nod and uncrossed his leg to shift closer to Sho’s desk. “What did you get?”

“I met with some people from Journey’s Jimusho just to go over some basics – their present contracts, the coverage of their activity, restrictions, etcetera.” Sho reached for a portfolio and flipped through it and handed it to Matsumoto.

“There won’t seem to be any conflict with their contract if we start getting the group in social media, outside collaborations and all that, as long as for every time we do that, we furnish written agreements or contracts clearly defining the extent and limits of the activities they will be involved in.”

“Sounds like a pain,” Matsumoto mumbled as he flipped through the documents.

“It is. But isn’t it reassuring that they are taking this seriously as much as the Soyokaze members are?” Sho countered. Before he met with the company’s representatives, he was worried that they were just humoring the Soyokaze members with their goal of going international. It would be a big problem if the company itself was half-hearted about the entire project. But if Sho were to judge based on the meetings earlier, it seemed that they were going at this with full support.

“Soyokaze, huh,” Matsumoto sighed.

“How did the meeting with their production team go?” Sho asked. But from the way Jun’s wrinkled brow, Sho figured it didn’t go very well.

“I don’t know anything about producing concerts or albums or music videos and all that. I am at Level 0 at best,” Matsumoto started, the frown never leaving his face.

“But even at Level 0, with no experience at it whatsoever, even just as an audience, I could pretty much say that they didn’t have much going on in their team in terms of creativity and variety and all those things that market research says are big in the international scene.” Matsumoto closed his eyes and tilted his head back, stretching his throat and slowly rolling his head to stretch out the tight knots there. Sho knew. He had those as well.

“I can’t say I have any experience in that matter as well,” Sho chimed in.

“I know this is not a nice thing to say, but they are really not good at what they do?” Sho had gone through all their songs and watched most of Soyokaze’s live performances and music videos, and he had to agree with Matsumoto. Even through his untrained eyes, he knew they were not very interesting or entertaining. They were, well, boring. Plain. Flat.

Not exactly the words he’d like to describe a group who was supposed to make an international debut.

Matsumoto only answered with several nods and what sounded like a frustrated grunt before he went back to the papers in his hands. Sho did the same, reading the fine prints on the contracts to make sure he was not missing anything important – lawyers had this propensity to hide the crucial statements in the fine print. Reading through them again, Sho felt like they were not really making any progress with this project. And this was a venture where they didn’t have the luxury of time - Soyokaze needed to make their international debut next year.

Once again, Sho felt how greatly inexperienced he was in this field and it was such an upsetting thought. Was this President Kimura’s goal after all? To make Sho and Matsumoto feel that they were not as good as they thought they were? That the position waiting for one of them needed someone more than who they were at this stage of their careers? Sho had always thought that he could be whatever he needed to be if he worked hard enough for it. Maybe he was just not working hard enough now. But Sho was suddenly sure how much that “more” required.

Sho’s thoughts were interrupted by a sharp ring of his office phone. It was the reception desk, informing him that his delivery had arrived. He told them to send the man up.

“Food?” Matsumoto asked, looking up from the documents in front of him. Matsumoto had somehow found himself a pen and a memo pad, neatly jotting down short notes in bullet form. He pushed it aside and stood up as Sho did.

The delivery guy, a young looking man named Kouta according to his name pin, didn’t bat an eyelash when he saw only two people were going to eat the pile of food he had with him. Nor did he move a single facial muscle when Matsumoto grabbed the bill before Sho could even reach out his hand. Matsumoto casually handed over several bills and told Kouta that he need not bother with the change.

When Kouta finally left, Sho turned to Matsumoto. “Let me pay for at least half of this. I’ll probably end up eating most of it anyway.”

“Consider it payment for the cab fare last night,” Matsumoto said, pocketing the piece of paper, out of Sho’s sight and his current indignant look.

“I wasn’t asking to be paid back for that.” Well, at least now he wasn’t. Sure, it was a different story when he was dragging Matsumoto back to his house, but he already changed his mind.

“No, but I insist. Come on, food is waiting and I can hear your stomach complaining.”

Sho unconsciously covered his flat stomach with the palms of his hands, once again getting reminded that he really was hungry.

“Right. Hungry. Food. Pantry.” Sho’s vocabulary had been reduced to single word-sentences and this made Matsumoto chuckle.

But they never made it to the pantry. It was at the end of the hallway and the space was so narrow they might as well call it a broom’s closet. So they proceeded to the small meeting room beside Murao’s office and laid out all the food trays and bowls, and ate without plates.

Sho somehow felt a little smug when he saw Matsumoto smile after his first bite of the anago sushi. And then he laughed when he saw Matsumoto eat three more one after another.

“I thought I was the one who hasn’t eaten all day,” Sho said, picking one fried oyster and dipping it in tartar sauce.

“I know, but this is really, _reall_ y good!” Matsumoto exclaimed.

“Right? They are one of the best sushi places I’ve tried here in Tokyo.”

“It’s unbelievable how I’ve never tried their food before.”

“We should go there sometime. I swear the food tastes better when the chef prepares it in front of you.”

Matsumoto nodded through a mouthful of fried oyster and mumbled something like, _“we definitely should”_. His cheeks were full and his eyes looked bright. Maybe Sho wasn’t the only one who had been neglecting his food intake.

To their horror and amusement, they finished all the food between the two of them. And when Matsumoto finally rode the elevator back up to his office, with a short wave and customary ‘thanks for the food’, Sho felt like they had energy to spare for the rest of the night.

Maybe Matsumoto wasn’t so bad after all. Despite feeling frustrated that there was no progress in the Soyokaze project, it felt good to talk with Matsumoto and pitch ideas back and forth. Sure, they weren’t able to come up with anything tonight, but it was a start.

Using the last of his arms’ strength, Sho pulled himself up and held the position for a second before slowly straightening his arm and then letting go. Not bad, he thought. Two sets of fifteen reps of pull ups was not bad at all. It was rare for Sho to be at the gym in the middle of the afternoon. He usually went at night after work, when he actually went home before the gym closed. But it was a weekend and he didn’t have any appointments for the day. He got bored at home and decided to hit the gym.

Sho felt the ache on his arm and upper back, but it was a good kind of ache. He then walked across the room to the cardio area, to do some light walking on the treadmill to cool down. He looked around and decided that Sunday afternoons were the best times to hit the gym – there were only three other people working out. No need to reserve the cardio machines, no queue on the weights machines, and no bystanders who flirt with anyone and never do a single work out. 

Sho would not call himself vain, but just like in his work, if he put his mind to doing something, he’d want to do his best in it. It took a lot of commitment for him to keep his workout habit from his college days until now. But it paid off. He looked lean and fit and good. Sho liked that.

Today, he decided to skip the shower and just changed his clothes. He lived five minutes away on foot, and he’d rather shower comfortably in his own apartment than in the cramped cubicle in the men’s locker. Sho waved goodbye to the trainer managing the reception desk and made his way out and basked in the afternoon warmth. Spring was almost here and Sho couldn’t be more excited to leave behind the winter chill.

“What are you doing here?” Sho stared at the man standing outside his apartment complex.

Elaborately-dressed would be an understatement to describe how Matsumoto looked. He was wearing some weird black pants which looked loose on the thighs and tight on the calves, black studded boots, and complicated layers of beige sweater, vest and something like a muffler on top. And sunglasses. And a hat.

“You weren’t answering your phone and I have really important things to talk about, and I was afraid the entire idea wouldn’t sound so good if I wait until tomorrow to tell you.” Matsumoto said with a scowl.

“Huh?” Sho wasn’t sure he was hearing it right. Sho wasn’t answering his phone because he purposely left it at home when he went to the gym. But he still couldn’t comprehend exactly why Matsumoto was _here_. Now.

“I had a really good idea about Soyokaze. And I need to talk it through with you immediately or else I’ll lose my train of thoughts. I need to talk it through with someone because it’s all a bunch of good and bad points, and someone has to help me pick out the good from the bad.”

Sho furrowed his brow as he tried to absorb what Matsumoto was saying.

“And you couldn’t have mailed me?”

Matsumoto shook his head.

“And this couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

Another head shake. “Definitely not.”

“And how did you find out where I lived?”

“Nino.”

“Right.” Sho tried to regain his footing from the shock of one, seeing Matsumoto in his private space, and two, seeing Matsumoto in his private clothes. 

“Okay, I think you should come up.” Sho opened the main entrance door and motioned for Matsumoto to follow him.

Sho apologized to Jun for his slightly not so pleasant smell. “Just came from the gym. I’m gonna have to shower first. So your train of thoughts needs to wait just a few minutes more.”

Matsumoto hummed in assent. “I should be the one to apologize for coming unannounced.” He was looking at Sho’s general direction but Sho couldn’t see his eyes behind the dark-tinted glasses, making it hard for Sho to read Matsumoto’s expression.

It was Sho who looked away first. Matsumoto’s presence was all too overwhelming and he felt slightly conscious with the way he’s dressed. Gray jersey pants, black training shoes and a gray hoodie on top of his plain white shirt. With a whiff of sweat. Sho suddenly regretted his decision to forego that shower at the gym.

Sho was jolted from his thoughts by the high-pitched voice from the intercom, telling them they’ve reached the sixth floor. Sho hurried in front of Jun, mentally mapping out his apartment and where the messiest spot was. When he reached the door to his apartment, he turned to Matsumoto with a serious look.

“Give me five minutes,” Sho said, extending his hand and raising five fingers in front of his face, to which Matsumoto answered with a raised brow.

“Don’t come in just yet… five minutes.”

After slipping out of his shoes, Sho made a beeline for his living room. He wasn’t a slob, but his things did pile up. He had a bad habit of not putting things back where they’re supposed to be. Every time, he would tell himself that he would definitely do it next time. Then ‘next time’ happened, but he still stuck to the habit. He should really do something about it. But with Matsumoto waiting outside, this was not the time to mull over those habits. Sho gathered them into piles and set them aside. He just needed to straighten things up and…

“You don’t have to tidy up for me. I’m the one who came over unannounced after all.”

Sho turned sharply towards the voice and saw Matsumoto Jun standing in the middle of his apartment, his entire aura seemingly out of place in Sho’s very plain interior.

“I’m pretty sure that wasn’t five minutes,” Sho said, giving Matsumoto a doubtful look.

“No, it wasn’t. Because you don’t have to clean up or anything. It doesn’t bother me,” Matsumoto said, casually looking around Sho’s living room.

Sho answered with a sigh and put a stack of folders on the floor beside his couch. “Alright. Well.” He looked around and realized that the living area didn’t look so bad after all. He gestured for Matsumoto to sit anywhere he liked.

“Ah, sit wherever you like. Uhm. I have books over there if you want to read or something while I freshen up…”

“Do you have pen and paper?” Matusmoto asked, slipping a hand in his pocket as if to search for a pen and paper, and scrunched his face when he came up empty.

Sho bent down and reached under the low table in front of the couch and pulled a pad of paper and a canvas pencil case. Sho opened the case and mulled over which pen to hand over to Matsumoto. He had so many he actually could not choose.

“Uhm, any pen would be okay, Sakurai.”

“Hmmm. I’m not sure which one of these still works…” Sho took several black and blue-ink pens and handed them to Matsumoto. “Here, just use whichever you like.”

“Thanks.” Matsumoto then sat on the carpeted floor in front of the couch, set the paper on the table, chose the fanciest looking pen in the bunch, and began writing enthusiastically.

“Right. I’m going to shower first and then we’ll talk about those ideas of yours.” Sho left Matsumoto in his living room and went straight to the bathroom. He double-checked to make sure the door was locked before he started to take off his clothes. It wasn’t that he thought Matsumoto would peep, but Sho was just not used to having someone else in his house who wasn’t family.

It had been a long time since Sho had anyone in his house who wasn’t his parents or siblings. The last time he did, he didn’t know the guy’s name and Sho woke up alone the next day. It wasn’t his proudest moment.

And this wasn’t exactly the best time to be having those thoughts.

Sho went through his usual shower routine, not worrying that Matsumoto would be bothered by his absence. He could very well wait for Sho to finish his damn shower.

When he was done, it was only then he realized that he didn’t bring any change of clothes with him, because he did not do that normally. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and scrunched his nose while in thought.

His bedroom was a few feet to the left of the corridor across the bathroom, which was a good thing. But the corridor opened to the living room to the right, where currently there was a man sitting on his floor. The chances of Matsumoto seeing him was fifty-fifty. Did that possibility bother him? Not really. Did it bother him that it could possibly bother Matsumoto? Not really.

Sho thought about his options, but there really was just one. He wrapped the bath towel around his waist, making sure it was snug and secured, opened the bathroom door, and walked casually to his room across the hallway.

“And the world didn’t end,” Sho mumbled to himself as he opened his closet to get a shirt, fresh pair of boxers and jeans. He didn’t bother combing his hair and left it as is. It would dry eventually.

He grabbed his phone from the nightstand – ten missed calls – and walked back to his living room. Matsumoto was still sitting on the floor, legs crossed in front of him, back hunched, busily writing. Several loose sheets were piled beside Matsumoto’s feet and a couple of crumpled ones on the other side. He sure had been busy in the few minutes Sho was in the shower.

Sho paused to just observe Matsumoto. There was something about Matsumoto that would catch someone's attention whether he was in a room full of people or sitting alone in an empty room. But like this, Sho thought that Matsumoto looked at ease, unlike the tense stance he always seemed to have when they were in the office.

A small smile played on Sho’s lips and he wondered when he started observing Matsumoto to that extent.

“How long are you going to stand there and stare?” Matsumoto said without looking up from what he was doing.

“I wasn’t staring,” Sho answered immediately, too fast to be anything but a lie. “Do you want something to drink? Tea? Coffee?”

“Just lukewarm water.”

“Excuse me?”

Matsumoto looked up at Sho and repeated his answer. “Lukewarm water. Room temperature water? Normal…water?”

Matsumoto must have sensed Sho’s confusion because he eventually said, “Or whatever you have at hand.”

“Okay. Just let me get it…” Sho went to the kitchen/dining room and wondered if he had lukewarm water. He had stacks of bottled water cooling in the fridge but couldn’t find any room temperature ones. He could always use tap water, but recently there had been concerns about the tap water supply. He’d rather not make Matsumoto sick.

Sho settled for some Oolong tea and brought that and a few packets of store-bought senbei to the living room.

“So tell me about this idea of yours,” Sho asked Matsumoto as he put the tea and senbei on the table. _And why it couldn’t wait._ Sho sat at the next available space on the floor right across Matsumoto.

“Ah. Thank you,” Matsumoto said, reaching for the cup of tea and taking a small sip.

Sho waited patiently as Matsumoto gathered the sheets of paper at his feet and organized them.

“So,” Matsumoto cleared his throat and placed a piece of paper in front of Sho. “Okay. So we know that Soyokaze do not do very well with the singing and dancing part of being an idol. Let’s face it, they have fans mostly because they are funny in their variety shows. It would be hard to sell them that way in the international scene, especially since we would be up against all those other K-pop groups.”

Sho nodded and waited for Matsumoto to continue.

“So, I was thinking… What if…” Matsumoto paused, a slight furrow forming between his brow.

“What if?”

“What if we focus on just one aspect of their performance?”

“What do you mean focus on just one aspect?”

Matsumoto pushed the piece of paper closer to Sho. Sho picked it up and looked closer at the words written there. Not just words, but there were diagrams and arrows and flow charts of some sort. More than the content, Sho was amazed that Matsumoto was able to come up with it in a very short time.

He looked up at Matsumoto, who turned away when their eyes met. Matsumoto actually looked nervous, like a high school kid waiting for his teacher to comment on his essay.

Sho returned his attention to what he was holding. It was like an entire project proposal summarized in that one piece of paper. Some parts of it were completely alien to Sho, some parts he somehow understood. When he thought that he already got the gist of the content, he gently put it back down on the table and cleared his throat.

“Well. I think this could work if we can iron out all the gray areas here,” She said, pointing to several parts of the diagram that Matsumoto made. Meanwhile, Matsumoto was listening to him intently, slightly leaning forward on the table to get a better view of what Sho was pointing at. When that didn’t satisfy him, he scooted closer to where Sho was and waited again for Sho’s comment.

“But you know, I am not the one who’s going to approve or reject this proposal, Matsumoto. At the end of the day, it’s Soyokaze and their management who will give the green light.” Sho had his doubts about what Matsumoto was planning. But this was their best solid plan yet and it might just work. Or it might royally fail. But Sho wouldn’t let that happen.

“I know that. But what do you think?” Matsumoto asked, his directness not really a surprise to Sho.

Matsumoto had removed his dark glasses earlier, and now Sho could clearly see the brown of Matsumoto’s eyes and the expectant look he had. Sho thought how he should say it and just settled for honesty. That’s what Matsumoto came to him for, after all.

“Like I said, it might work,” Sho started. “But there are parts of this plan which are highly dependent on possible response from the international audience. And right now, I think the two of us have very limited knowledge about this to be able to give any predictions.” Sho took the pen from Matsumoto’s hand and added a few notes of his own on the piece of paper.

Matsumoto hummed in thought and nodded, and then he looked at Sho again, waiting for him to continue.

Sho and Matsumoto spent the rest of the afternoon going through their proposal, going through different scenarios and creating plan Bs for that, listing down aspects of the project that they needed to consult about and finally getting something concrete on paper for them to show the company president, Soyokaze, Journey’s Jimusho and their record label. Matsumoto was not joking when he said that he had a bunch of good and bad points all mixed together – there was a part of Matsumoto’s brain which thought having the Soyokaze members skydive down the center of Hollywood for a promotional video was a good idea.

But overall, it felt refreshing for Sho to be doing this with Matsumoto. At first he thought that they were going to end up contradicting each other at every other point. But surprisingly, he and Matsumoto worked well with each other. Matsumoto would defend his ideas, but would also know when to back down and scrap them all together. Sho, who tended to talk his way into making people do what he wanted, also learned how to back down when Matsumoto had the better idea.

But then, there came a point when it became a little awkward. It may be about not exact timing to say something because it was well, awkward. At around six in the evening, Sho was pretty much sure they weren’t going to get any more work done that night. They have been at it for hours, and now he just felt mentally exhausted. How does one tell someone politely to leave?

In Sho’s defense, it wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy this little unexpected shift in his and Matsumoto’s relationship, but he was tired and he wanted the remainder of his Sunday to be spent in utter languidness.

While Sho was in the middle of these thoughts, Matsumoto suddenly yawned and began gathering the sheets of paper.

“Thank you, Sakurai, for accommodating me this afternoon,” Matsumoto said with a serious tone and slight bow of his head. “I think I’d better head out now.”

Sho wondered if Matsumoto was somehow able to read him and felt that he needed to leave.

“Oh. Well, I see. Thank you as well. I think we might actually be able to meet the deadline for this proposal because of the work we did this afternoon.” Why did they suddenly sound so formal? It was such a contrast from earlier, with how they were just casually throwing around ideas.

Matsumoto cleared his throat and started to stand up. “I think I may have completely ruined your free day. I’m sorry about that.”

Sho could look at it that way – that he lost a rare free day because Matsumoto made him work. Or he could think of it another way – that he gained a productive day because Matsumoto made him work. Sho thought the latter was a better way of looking how his Sunday turned out.

“You didn’t ruin anything. Things turned out better than expected,” Sho said sincerely, slightly shaking his legs. They were a little numb and weak from being in a seated position on the floor for a long time.

“Still, I shouldn’t have bullied Nino into telling me your address,” Matsumoto said as he started taking the cups and plates to the kitchen.

Sho doubted Nino could be bullied into doing anything. That man did things as he liked them. Nino probably told Matsumoto Sho’s address because he thought that it would be interesting.

Sho followed Matsumoto to his kitchen and grimaced when he saw his recyclable garbage bin filled to the brim with pet bottles he still hadn’t sorted through. Matsumoto didn’t seem to have noticed and he just went directly to the sink and started washing the dishes.

“Ah! You don’t have to do that! Just leave them there. I’ll wash them later,” Sho said, awkwardly standing behind and beside Matsumoto. He was torn between grabbing the soapy sponge out of Matsumoto’s hand and surely making skin contact – which was not a bad thing, but he thought Matsumoto would not appreciate it – and just standing there and let Matsumoto have his way with his dirty dishes. He chose the latter and watched helplessly as Matsumoto cleaned his cups and plates.

“You made the tea, I wash the cups. Simple,” Matsumoto said with a soft, almost shy smile, probably the first one Sho had seen on Matsumoto.

Sho liked that smile.

“There. All done,” Matsumoto said as he placed the last dish on the drying rack beside the sink. Matsumoto looked pleased with himself and this made Sho smile.

“Alright, I’ll be heading out now.”

“I’ll take you to the elevator,” Sho said, not really able to look at Matsumoto straight in the eye.

Then he heard a chuckle.

Matsumoto somehow found something funny and Sho is not sure if it’s him because now Matsumoto is looking at him, seemingly amused.

Sho looked around him to see if there was something going on. Nothing.

He wiped his face and touched the sides of his lips to feel if there were any food crumbs there. Nothing.

“What’s funny?” Sho finally asked.

Another chuckle from Matsumoto. “Why are we so awkward suddenly?” And then a laugh.

Sho ended up laughing with him because it was quite ridiculous. They were doing so well just a few minutes earlier, and now they didn’t seem to know how to talk to each other.

When they both calmed down, Sho smiled at Matsumoto, and Matsumoto smiled back, and the weird feeling was gone.

“Come on. I’ll walk you to the elevator,” Sho said. This time his tone was less stiff.

“Okay. I’ll just get my glasses,” Matsumoto said and walked back to the living room.

Sho made his way to the genkan and took his keys, opened the door and walked leisurely along the corridor to the elevators. He pressed the down button and was pleased when it showed that the car was just three floors above his.

The elevator car came and went, but there was no Matsumoto.

_What’s taking him so long?_

Sho walked back to his apartment and saw that Matsumoto’s boots were still at the genkan.

“Matsumoto-san?” Sho called out.

“Here, Sakurai-san.” 

Sho followed the direction and voice and what he saw made him stop short. 

There in his kitchen was Matsumoto, deftly sorting his pet bottles, removing the caps and labels and putting them in separate bins.

“Ah, Sakurai-san.” Matsumoto looked up for a moment and then returned to what he was doing. “Just a few more minutes. I should be done soon.”

Sho was left speechless for a moment, and just stood there, watching Matsumoto basically go through his trash.

And then the shock was replaced with horror. Matsumoto was going through his trash!

“What are you doing?!” Sho quickly approached Matsumoto and tried to take away the bottle he was holding.

“Eh? I’m just sorting these,” Matsumoto said, like a matter of fact.

“Well, I can see that. But _why_ are you sorting _my_ trash?”

“It looked messy…” and then a murmur.

“Huh? I didn’t hear that last part…” Sho leaned a little closer to Matsumoto and saw a light flush of embarrassment.

“It bothered me,” Matsumoto said with a small pout. “It bothers me when they are just left there like that…”

Sho sensed that Matsumoto wanted to say more, so he waited, looking at his face and watching the expression shift from embarrassed to annoyed in just a span of a couple of seconds.

“I get the urge to straighten things up when I see them like that,” Matsumoto whispered, hands still busy sorting the bottles from the caps and labels.

Ah, so Matsumoto had this compulsive side to him. Sho could understand it. He had his own things he felt the same way about, like his schedule. Maybe one day he’d talk to Matsumoto about that. But right now, the more pressing matter was to help Matsumoto go through his own trash. So piles of documents and books and magazines did not bother Matsumoto, but messy piles of pet bottles did. Interesting.

“Here, let me help you,” Sho said, reaching in front of him to get a bottle. Sho should have felt more embarrassed with the way he let his pet bottle trash pile up like this. He should really start thinking about getting a reusable water bottle. They were all the trend now.

“You really should,” Matsumoto said.

“Huh?”

“Get reusable water bottles. Like you said.”

“Eh? Did I say that out loud?”

“Yep, you did.” Matsumoto must have found that amusing because he was smiling. And that smile stayed until Matsumoto rode the elevator and gave a tiny wave.

Sho returned to his apartment and caught a glimpse of his reflection against the glass window, and he was smiling, too.

## V. Pudding

* * *

“Months of work, just like that,” Sho snapped his fingers, “down the drain.”

Aiba Masaki patted Sho’s back and poured him another cup of sake. It was one of Aiba’s father’s most priced sake. He was pretty sure his father wouldn’t mind opening it on this occasion. Aiba had never seen Sho look so depressed in the years they’d been friends. Not even that time when Sho ‘ran away’ from home because his mother found his porn magazines… catered for Sho’s male preference. Sho did not touch Aiba’s specialty fried rice, and that was how Aiba knew that this was bad. Sho never did not eat his seafood kimchi fried rice.

They were at Aiba’s restaurant, which used to be managed by his father until he ‘retired’. Aiba was behind the counter where the kitchen was, and Sho was seated on one of the few spots at the counter. No one usually sat there because of the steam and the heat from the kitchen. Aiba was actually saving up to renovate the restaurant, and that included separating the main kitchen from the dining area. Sho was not particularly looking forward to that. He liked the cozy, unpresuming feel of the restaurant as it was.

But Sho had other things he was worried about now. He looked horrible and felt even worse. Today was their project proposal's presentation and they’d been preparing for it for months. The countless meetings, the late night brainstorming, the weekends spent working overtime – and all these on top of their regular responsibilities in the company. What was all that for?

The company's president, Journey’s Jimusho representatives and even Soyokaze themselves had flat out rejected their entire proposal. He and Matsumoto had high spirits. They had confidence in what they had put together. But.

_“I’m sorry, this was a failure right from the start.”_

_“You do realize that you are working with Soyokaze, right? Then what made you think that simply putting them out there in the international scene is going to cut it?”_

_“I don’t think this kind of image reflects who Soyokaze really is, and I think we would feel fake doing all these.”_

_“Maybe this was impossible for the two of you, after all.”_

That last one hurt Sho the most. It was the final hammer that drove the nails in. After saying those words, President Kimura turned to Journey’s representative Joshima and apologized for having chosen Sho and Matsumoto to do the project.

Sho had left the conference room in a daze, not really seeing or hearing anything. He had a vague memory of Matsumoto calling out to him, but he wasn’t sure. He then went back to his office cubicle and spent the rest of the day working – preparing reports, proofreading his juniors’ works and making calls to their clients that he needed to follow-up on. When the clock struck six in the evening, he walked to Murao’s office and asked if he could leave ahead of him. Sho remembered the concerned look on Murao’s face and forced himself to smile, assuring Murao that he was alright.

And here he was, back hunched and head low in his best friend’s restaurant, nursing his cup of sake.

“You can always try again, Sho-chan,” Aiba said, taking the untouched fried rice from Sho’s side and pulling it to his side.

Sho watched as Aiba took a large mouthful of the rice and realized that he hadn’t eaten all day and was actually starving. He grabbed Aiba’s spoon and took a spoonful of the rice himself. Delicious like always, Sho thought, and then took back the plate from Aiba.

“I know it’s not your thing, Sho-chan, but normal people fail all the time, and normal people just try again.”

“Stop saying that like I’m not normal,” Sho said.

“Well, you’re quite extraordinary, Sho-chan. I always boast to my other friends that I have super Sho-chan as my best friend.”

Sho would have been more touched had Aiba not snickered right after saying it. With his mouth full of kimchi and pieces of shrimp, Sho could only murmur several unrecognizable expletives.

“But seriously, ever since we were in high school, you’d always work harder than anyone I knew,” Aiba said with a serious face. “You were, and still are, very smart. So smart that the juniors were afraid to approach you because they thought you’d judge them and think them stupid.”

Sho must have looked shocked because Aiba followed with, “Eh? You didn’t know? That’s why the juniors would always approach me instead of you, even though I knew next to nothing most of the time.”

“They were afraid of me? Why?” Sho was stunned. He never thought of himself that way. He had always thought that he was approachable and tried to help anyone who would approach him back then.

“Was I such an asshole?” Sho asked.

“Of course you weren’t, Sho-chan. Or we would never have become friends,” Aiba declared, and it felt so honest that Sho could only believe him. “I don’t think you ever intended to make them feel that way. It's just how you communicated it to them that made them think you were judging them.”

This was not doing any good for Sho’s current mood and he unbelievably felt worse than he did when he came in.

“Ahhh! Don’t look like that!” Aiba hurried to the kitchen and came back with a plate of brownies and a cup of pudding. “Here! Here! Have some sweets.”

Sho could only smile at how hard Aiba was trying to make him feel better.

“But you know, Sho-chan. You’ve sort of changed after our university days,” Aiba flashed Sho a wide smile. “And that’s why I think that more than anyone, you will succeed in this if you try again.”

Sho did not understand exactly what Aiba was trying to say, but he appreciated it.

“Thanks, Aiba-chan,” Sho said and meant it. He was glad he came here tonight.

“Say… Sho-chan?”

“Hmm?”

“That project partner you were talking about a while ago, didn’t you say he had these broad shoulders?” Aiba gestured with his hands his impression of those broad shoulders.

“Uhm. Well, yes, you could say that.”

“And that he had this head full of large wavy curls?”

“Yeah?”

“And thick eyebrows and really strong facial features?”

“Yes, why?”

“Coz’ he’s standing right over there and scowling,” Aiba pointed at the restaurant door.

Sho turned his head so fast he was sure he’d get sore neck muscles the next day. And true enough, Matsumoto was standing there, still in his suit and tie, hair still in place even after a long day. But rather than a scowl, it was just his usual face, which to the untrained eye could be interpreted as a scowl.

Their eyes met and then Sho looked away quickly. Why did Matsumoto keep popping up in his private spaces?

He heard Matsumoto walk closer and then settle his bag at the seat beside Sho. And from his peripheral vision, Sho could see Matsumoto sit on the chair next to where his bag was.

Aiba put on his best smile and asked, “Good evening, sir. What would you like to have tonight?”

Matsumoto casually browsed the menu set in front of him and settled for a bottle of beer and some gyoza.

As Aiba was about to leave, Matsumoto added, “And that seafood kimchi fried rice. Nino said it’s not on the menu but that you have it here and it’s your best dish.”

This must have made Aiba really happy because he answered Matsumoto with his best, genuine smile yet.

“Nino should really stop telling everyone where to find me,” Sho said, not exactly looking at Matsumoto.

“He didn’t. He just casually told me about this nice Chinese restaurant in Chiba with delicious fried rice,” Matsumoto answered, taking the bottle of beer that Aiba had just placed in front of him. “I needed something delicious to eat tonight. Didn’t imagine I’d find you here.”

As Aiba was leaving, he gave Sho a weird look and then smirked before turning away. Sho wasn’t in the state of mind to process that look right now.

Sho turned and watched Matsumoto down half the bottle’s contents in one gulp, not even bothering to use the glass beside him. Maybe Matsumoto felt as shitty as Sho did, not that he could blame him.

“Sorry, I left without saying anything,” Sho apologized. He was watching the way the sake swirled in the cup. If he moved his wrist just the right way, it created beautiful spiral waves.

“It’s fine. I can’t blame you for getting out there fast,” Matsumoto said. He then picked up the bottle and downed the rest of the contents. Matsumoto signaled to one of the wait staff for two more bottles of beer before turning his attention to Sho.

Sho wanted to turn away but he didn’t. He’d had enough of that today. He had been staring at Matsumoto and now he’s being stared back at, he might as well make use of this to observe him.

There were dark bags under Matsumoto’s eyes and his lips looked a little pale. He looked tired. Sho had been working with Matsumoto for over three months now, and this was the first time he had seen him show his exhaustion. Matsumoto had been working stoically all this time, and to get rejected right at the top of the bat today must have hit him as hard as it did Sho.

Aiba said that Sho was the hardest working man he’d ever known. But Sho knew that Matsumoto worked harder.

“How did the rest of your day go?” Sho asked, not for the sake of small talk but because he was genuinely curious. For people like them in the corporate world, every hour is precious and every minute spent moping was considered loss of revenue. That might be true for other businesses as well, but they felt it more acutely with the rise and fall of their stocks at the end of the day.

“The usual. Paperwork. Meetings. Scolding the newbies into shape. More paperwork. Reports,” Matsumoto sighed and took another drag from his beer.

“Please don’t get drunk here. I don’t think I have the generosity to take you back to your place today,” Sho said half-jokingly.

That seemed to lighten the mood because Matsumoto gave his first genuine smile for the night.

“Don’t worry, I give you permission to leave me on the side of the street should that happen.”

“Alright. But don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Sho answered with an exaggerated shrug. “I’ll make sure to dump you in a comfortable position.”

“Gee, thanks. You’re always so thoughtful. It’s more than I could ever ask for,” Matsumoto answered with an exaggerated bow.

Everything was too ridiculous and they both ended up laughing at their own expense. There was something about this that made Sho feel good, the best he’d felt since their disastrous presentation. It could be how Matsumoto is making fun of their situation. Or it could be Matsumoto himself. But Sho chose to think that it was the former.

Maybe all he really needed was a good laugh with the person who he shared the same fate today.

And it was in their laughing state that Aiba came to serve Matsumoto his fried rice and gyoza.

“Here you go. Seafood kimchi fried rice and gyoza, and your side salad.”

“I didn’t order the salad,” Matsumoto said with a mildly confused look.

“It’s on the house. Right, Aiba-chan?” Sho chimed in.

“Yes, on the house. We do that for all our new customers,” Aiba said proudly.

“So you remember everyone who comes here?” Matsumoto asked, astonished.

“More or less,” Aiba shrugged. “Sometimes I forget and end up giving more free side dishes than I should. But that’s okay. They end up coming back, after all.”

“Huh. Interesting,” Matsumoto murmured and then put his palms together before helping himself to the warm food.

“Hmm! This is good!” Matsumoto exclaimed with a shocked look. “Really good!”

“Right? Aiba-chan is the best cook in this part of Chiba,” Sho said proudly.

“Oi! Why only in this part of Chiba?”

“Well, because you’re the only good chef in this part of the city. But there are other great chefs in the other parts. So…” Sho answered with feigned seriousness, just to get to tease back at Aiba.

“Ah, really? I hereby revoke your one year free dessert pass in this restaurant,” Aiba said with a humph.

“Ahh. I meant that you’re the best chef in the city and offer the best Chinese food in Chiba.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“One year free dessert pass revocation is hereby cancelled,” Aiba declared and punctuated it by taking one of the brownies on Sho’s plate and eating it in front of him.

Aiba then turned to Matsumoto. “Enjoy the rest of your meal. If you need anything, just call our attention.”

Sho returned his attention to his desserts and replaced the cup of sake with a glass of cold water. There were occasional comments about the food and how the ambience felt really nice inside the restaurant. And when Aiba was not busy with customers, he would approach them and strike a conversation with Matsumoto, which mostly involved Aiba sharing something embarrassing about Sho. Sho would retaliate with his own stories about Aiba, but he supposed that had less impact on Matsumoto because he just met Aiba.

Matsumoto laughed at their silly stories and when it was time to go, Matsumoto even let Aiba put his arm around his shoulders, whispering something that made Matsumoto’s eyes go wide.

Sho asked Matsumoto what it was, but he just shrugged and said it was nothing. Must have been some interesting nothing to make Matsumoto look that way, Sho thought, but he didn’t pry.

They were standing at the platform, waiting for the train that would take them back to Tokyo. This part of Chiba was just outside Tokyo’s territory, which was convenient since neither Sho nor Matsumoto brought their own cars.

“I want to give it a try again,” Matsumoto said. “The Soyokaze project.”

Sho was letting those words sink in when the train arrived. The crowd inside was thin but still plenty enough for all seats to be taken. They spent the rest of their train ride in silence – Sho mulling over Matsumoto’s words, and Matsumoto waiting for Sho’s response.

They both got off at Akihabara station and changed to the Yamanote line. Still, they didn’t say anything. Not even when Matsumoto went off at Otsuka station. And Sho was still in deep thought when he finally got off at Shin-Okubo station.

When Sho got home, he had already made his decision, but wanted to mull over it some more. He took a long bath and prepared for bed. And just before he turned his lights off that night, he took his phone and sent a message to Matsumoto – _I want to give it a try again, too._

## VI. Kimchi

* * *

“How did you get them to let us watch the rehearsal for their new single?” Matsumoto sat beside Sho at the back of the dance rehearsal room. There were staff members going about one task after another. And then there were the Soyokaze members in the middle of the room, trying to keep up with the choreographer as he showed them the steps.

Sho made an exaggerated flex of his left arm and dramatically tapped his biceps with a smug look on his face. He probably looked ridiculous, which was confirmed when Matsumoto snorted through a laugh.

“I talked with a lot of people,” Sho said in a low voice. “They were very accommodating despite being doubtful.”

They had been spending so much time together the past month, in and outside of the office, that they were already at the point that they naturally made jokes around each other. Sho liked it and liked spending time with Matsumoto. As a colleague, of course.

Sho didn’t think it was possible, but they were working twice, thrice as hard as they were when doing the first proposal. Looking back, Sho thought that they had been too cocky, having the mindset that doing just that amount of effort was enough. This time, they weren’t leaving anything to chance. 

Matsumoto had been studying up on production and marketing in the music and entertainment industry. Sho had finally enlisted the help of his two juniors in the department, Ueda and Masuda, to conduct surveys with the local market so that they could study the local music scene as well. He had been contacting old college friends who were involved in the international music industry and had an eye-opening video conference about the international music platform. From there, Sho finally had an idea of how high the hurdle really was to bring Soyokaze out of Japan.

And they had been paying very close attention to Soyokaze themselves. The albums and DVDs were not enough. Those barely scratched the surface of Soyokaze. They had to ask big favors from TV network connections to get a copy of the group's old TV shows. And Sho had been watching their currently airing late night variety program. Matsumoto rented all the available movies and dramas from the members that he could find. He even created a Twitter and Instagram account just so he could follow Soyokaze fans. ‘Lurking’, that’s what Matsumoto said he was doing on social media. The most surprising part that they found in social media was that Soyokaze did have a following in other countries – they were small and sporadic, but they were there.

Sho did not have the aptitude for social media and focused more on the other internet contents related to Soyokaze. There were fans who made blogs to catalogue all the magazine interviews the group or individual members had done, which made it easier for Sho to track down those magazine issues and read them. He also had the fortune (or misfortune) of discovering the world of Soyokaze fan fiction. He had read things that made him blush and then there were other things he’d rather not talk of.

“Thanks for negotiating things with them,” Matsumoto whispered, as Soyokaze had already started dancing.

Sho only shook his head as if to say it wasn’t really much. Both of them were doing their jobs. “How did the meeting go?”

“Okay, I suppose. They are going to show me some of their previous designs and programs next week.” Matsumoto had been meeting with several digital art companies that he hoped they could work with.

The past few weeks, Sho and Matsumoto had been going to Soyokaze's song recording sessions and dance rehearsals. Seeing them in the recorded materials was one thing, watching them in the process was another. It was the same and different at the same time. Through this, they could more closely see how Soyokaze worked and understand their strengths and weaknesses first hand.

And in these past weeks, several things became apparent.

First, dancing wasn’t their strongest point. They could dance in the sense that they could follow the choreography and dance to the beat of the music, but it wasn’t something you’d call graceful.

Second, three of the five members of Soyokaze had great voices and decent range. 

Third, somehow, the group kept being given songs which simply didn’t fit their voices. Case in point – their new single, which was mostly fast-paced with low key and generally limited melody.

And fourth, although singing while dancing defined them as idols, it simply did not suit Soyokaze.

Sho and Matsumoto wanted to be sure they weren’t getting wrong impressions about the group’s capability, so they wanted to watch them again and again. This way, they could make a proposal that would work.

Time and time again, their impressions only got stronger. Soyokaze was not bad. Their strengths simply were never put to use.

While Sho was mostly watching and observing the members and the staff, Matsumoto was making very detailed notes, like he always did. Sho had asked Matsumoto once what those notes were for and he only answered “For future reference.” Matsumoto would take plenty of notes; as far as Sho observed, Matsumoto had already filled half of his notebook.

They stayed for another hour or so and then excused themselves to the staff members and the managers. It was a cozy spring Friday night and the streets were already buzzing with students and people coming out of work. The occasional squeal of a toddler followed by a parent’s worried call punctuated the usual city buzz.

Sho and Matsumoto were walking side by side, they weren’t talking but it no longer felt as awkward as it did months ago. The air felt nice and the temperature felt just right, no need for heavy outer coats and thick mufflers and clunky winter boots. Sho wished it would be spring forever.

“Achooo!!!”

Matsumoto would probably not appreciate that thought. Matsumoto sniffled and then released another loud sneeze.

“Stupid hay fever,” Matsumoto said and then sniffed again as he rummaged through his bag. After a little while, and a few string of mild curses about pollen and his nose, Matsumoto finally found his mask and put it on with a sigh.

“Aren’t you taking anything for your allergies?” Sho asked concerned when Matsumoto sneezed again. The poor man was flinching with the ache from his side after that last sneeze.

“I ran out this morning. Which reminds me, I need to go to the pharmacy,” Matsumoto said, looking around as if searching for one.

“There’s one over there,” Sho pointed to a small store with a large signage at the corner two blocks away.

“Ah, thank you,” Matsumoto said, and then he paused.

“Mmm. It's out of the way to the train station. You should go ahead, Sakurai-kun,” Matsumoto said, once again looking around as if to gauge the distance from where they were standing to the pharmacy and then to the train station.

Sho felt something like a sharp sensation run through his heart. He didn’t know what it meant and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. 

_Sakurai-kun? When did Matsumoto start calling him with a “kun”?_

“No, It’s okay. I’ll go with you. It’s not that far,” Sho said, schooling his face to make sure Matsumoto couldn’t see that he was actually nervous.

_Why was he even nervous?_

By the time they reached the pharmacy, Sho was back to his normal self. While Matsumoto showed the pharmacist his prescription, Sho looked around the store. Every season, people are coming up with another, newly-improved, upgraded face masks and shampoos and body creams. But his favorite were the lip creams, and his preferred brand had a new flavor – cucumber and green tea. He took a couple and went to the cash register to pay. There was a long line at the register, a mixture of young and old, well and not so well-looking. Matsumoto was about two people away from paying and Sho signaled that he was going to the end of the line.

“Here,” Matsumoto said, taking the tubes of lip cream from Sho before he could walk away. “I’ll just include them with my meds.” Sho wasn’t sure that was okay – people generally don’t do that. But he supposed he was okay with it if Matsumoto was.

“Thanks,” Sho said with a tiny bow and handed him a couple of thousand yen bills. Matsumoto had removed his mask, the sneezing fits he had earlier seem to have subsided.

Sho and Matsumoto heard muffled giggles and looked behind the line.

There were two girls in high school uniform behind Matsumoto and they kept looking back and forth between Sho and Matsumoto, whispered something to each other and then giggled again, both girls blushing. He and Matsumoto shared a confused look and shrugged. Whatever that little giggle and blushing thing was, Sho would rather not spend time interpreting the meaning.

Sho waited near the exit so as not to hog up any more space in the already small and busy pharmacy store. To spend his time, Sho settled for observing Matsumoto. He had his arms crossed and was leaning with his left leg, his body language exuding the kind of confidence you see in those people who were comfortable in their own skin. Sho wondered if Matsumoto had always been that way. Or was he like Sho who had to struggle with his own image from puberty until college?

Sho watched as the cashier blushed and smiled all throughout his transaction with Matsumoto and Sho thought it was adorable. He wouldn’t have thought getting cash bills and handing out the change would require so much eye batting and head tilting had he not witnessed it himself. Meanwhile, Matsumoto didn’t seem to mind or acknowledge the cashier’s reaction. It looked like Matsumoto did not know what kind of effect he had on people.

Sho bowed his thanks to Matsumoto when he gave him the pack of lip creams. When they stepped out of the store, Matsumoto took one pill right away. He then covered his face again with the face mask.

“Wouldn’t that make you sleepy?” Sho was curious. He’d always thought hay fever meds made people groggy.

“Not this one,” Matsumoto answered, his voice slightly muffled by the mask. “The newer meds these days don’t have that side effect anymore. Which is really convenient.”

“Want to head out to the train station?” Sho asked.

“Ah, yes. Sorry for the little side trip.”

“Ah no, not at all. I bought something as well,” Sho said, showing Matsumoto the small packet he was holding before shoving it in his bag pocket.

They walked companionably to the train station, once in a while pointing out something interesting along the shops and restaurants. They missed the train. Another time, Sho would have minded losing some precious minutes waiting for the next train to arrive, but he didn’t feel particularly bothered just now. He wasn’t in a hurry, and there wasn’t anywhere he particularly felt like he needed to be at.

Here and now was okay.

“Hello, this is Matsumoto.”

Sho looked to his side and saw Matsumoto talking on his phone, his hand cupped over his mouth and the phone, talking as softly as he could.

Sho was able to make out a few words and even heard his name mentioned. Soon, Matsumoto put away his phone and looked at his watch and then at Sho.

“Do you have plans tonight?” Matsumoto asked out of the blue.

“Hmm? Nothing in particular. Why do you ask?”

“That was Nino. He was asking if we’d like to have dinner and drinks tonight.”

“That’s strange.”

“Right?”

“Nino never invites for dinner. Or drinks.”

“I know. That’s why I got curious and I said we’d go.”

“We?”

“I… I told him I was with you.”

Was it a blush or simply redness from his hay fever, Sho wasn’t sure. But Matsumoto looked a little flustered.

“I said we just came from work in this area and… So, would you like to join us? But if you already have plans or something, that’s okay. Don’t feel pressured to say yes or anything. I just thought that we haven’t really had the chance to go when the others go out for drinks after work, so…” Matsumoto wasn’t looking at Sho. And at this point, Sho was pretty sure Matsumoto was in fact blushing. He had never heard of ears turning red due to hay fever.

“No, I…”

“Oh..”

Sho watched Matsumoto’s face fall, the sides of his mouth slightly turning down and his eyes downcast. He should have let him finish.

“I meant, no, I don’t have any plans tonight. So, yes, of course I can join you,” Sho clarified.

“Great! I’ll tell Nino.” Matsumoto pulled out his phone from his pocket and began composing a message. He had a small smile on and Sho would like to think that this is because Matsumoto was happy to hear that he would join him.

The train arrived, packed with commuters going about their daily grind. Sho and Matsumoto, just like any other commuters on a Friday night, braced themselves and pushed their way inside the train. Truth was, they didn’t even need to do much to get inside. There was this unbelievable amount of force coming from everyone else behind them – a slight push amplified ten-fold by everyone else behind. And the end result was Sho and Matsumoto almost having their faces smashed against the glass panel of the opposite door, which was, Sho supposed, a better outcome than being in the center of crowd.

With each stop, the people in the train lessened, giving them room to move their limbs, which were starting to get numb from being stuck in one position for so long. When they finally got off the train, it was with a sigh of relief.

As they were making their way out of the station, Sho noticed that Matsumoto was rubbing his left thigh with a slight grimace.

“Something wrong with your leg?” Sho pointed out where Matsumoto was holding his thigh.

“Ah, it’s nothing. It just feels a little weird. Something must have been digging into it when the train was packed with people,” Matsumoto said, smiling to assure Sho. “Don’t worry about it.”

Sho had his doubts but nodded. Matsumoto would know if it was something more worrisome, right?

“Okay. I think the izakaya is just a couple of blocks away.” Sho led the way and fought the urge to check on Matsumoto who was walking closely behind.

The izakaya they arrived in was already packed with people. The tables were small, the seating done so as to maximize the number of people it could accommodate, and the signage boasted of the store’s cheapest beer rates during happy hour. This was very typical Nino.

They looked around, searching for the familiar shape of Nino’s slumped posture. Sho spotted him at one of the few booths the izakaya had. Nino was facing their direction, but there was already someone seated in front of him. From the back, Sho couldn’t tell who it was.

Sho and Matsumoto wound their way between the tables and other patrons, some already way past the tipsy stage. Several “excuse me” and “sorry” later, they made it to Nino’s table.

“Hey, Nino,” Sho started. Sho watched as Nino was about to greet them back, when suddenly, there was a sharp intake of breath beside Sho.

“Satoshi-kun?!”

“Hey, Jun-kun.”

Sho watched as Matsumoto’s face went through shock, then confusion, and then anger and then relief. All in the span of a few seconds.

“What? Why?” Matsumoto exclaimed, and then made a pause. Matsumoto placed his hands on his waist, arms akimbo and just stared with a scowl at the man he just called ‘Satoshi-kun’.

“See, Oh-chan! I told you it wouldn’t be so bad,” Nino softly patted Matsumoto’s arm and pulled him to the empty seat beside him. “Sho-chan, you can sit beside Oh-chan.”

Sho nodded, giving ‘Oh-chan’ a slight bow before taking his seat. Oh-chan gave him a droopy smile and then smiled at Matsumoto, who was still staring intently at Oh-chan.

“Sho-chan, meet Oh-chan. Oh-chan meet Sho-chan,” Nino hastily introduced as he signaled one of the staff for more beer and gyoza.

“Hello, I’m Sakurai Sho. Nice to meet you.”

“Ah, I’m Ohno Satoshi. Nice to meet you.”

Sho looked at Ohno curiously. He was probably as tall as Nino but with a slightly bigger frame. And boy was he tanned. He was wearing a blue and white striped T-shirt, denim shorts and a pair of slippers. He was dressed for summer in the middle of spring.

There was a long pause. Sho looked between Ohno, who was smiling lazily, and Matsumoto, who was looking at Ohno with what could only be described as frustration.

Meanwhile, Nino was happily eating gyoza and offered Sho to get his share, too.

“Don’t mind them,” Nino said, rudely pointing his chopsticks at Ohno and Matsumoto, who was still at a stare down. “They’re okay. This happens all the time.”

Sho took the offered gyoza and bit into it carefully, still looking back and forth at the other two.

“Are you sure?” Sho leaned forward to Nino and whispered. “Matsumoto is already red in the face.”

Nino turned his head and then took his attention back to Sho. “Yep. This is actually unraveling pretty peacefully compared to the usual.”

Sho wondered how the ‘usual’ unfolds. And just who was this Ohno Satoshi.

“I can’t believe you didn’t even bother to let us know if you were still alive!” Matsumoto suddenly blurted out.

“I mean, a simple call or e-mail or even a note or postcard won’t take up too much of your time, right?” Matsumoto continued, then took a large gulp of Nino’s beer.

“Hey, that’s mine…” Nino started, but he was interrupted when Matsumoto spoke again.

“And you’re all burnt again!” Another swig from Nino’s beer and Matsumoto was looking at Ohno again.

“One year, Satoshi-kun, and not a single word from you.” Matsumoto didn’t look angry anymore. His face wasn’t so red anymore and the volume of his voice had gone down.

“I joined a tuna fishing boat,” Ohno started. “We went to Canada first. Then we went down to California. And then Mexico.”

With each country Ohno mentioned, Matsumoto could only close his eyes and knead his temple with his palm.

“And? Did you get to catch one? Tuna? Was it fun?” Matsumoto asked, which started Ohno with stories of his adventures and all the memorable fishes he caught.

As the night went on, Sho watched Matsumoto transform from the initially angry Matsumoto to the happily laughing Matsumoto. Maybe Nino was right, these two were okay.

Ohno was mostly quiet for the rest of the night unless someone directly asked him. There was a comfortable air between him and Matsumoto, and it made Sho wonder how the two knew each other.

“Ohno-san, how do you know Matsumoto-kun?” Sho asked as he turned his attention to Sho.

There was a spark in Ohno’s eyes – which Sho couldn’t decipher – before he answered. “We were roommates.” 

“Roommates?”

Matsumoto and Nino nodded at the same time.

“Since college. But I dropped out after a couple of years. And then kept on living in the dormitory just the same,” Ohno said with a laugh.

“Those university dormitories didn’t really monitor who stayed in their rooms. They were supposed to be for the exclusive use of the students, but some students got to live there one even two years after they graduated,” Matsumoto elaborated. “And this guy,” Matsumoto pointed to Ohno, “stayed with me there until I graduated.”

“Then they moved in with me,” Nino said.

“Eh? You knew each other from way back?” Sho asked, looking at Nino and Matsumoto, who were once again nodding in sync.

“I met J through Oh-chan. Oh-chan and I go way back since grade school,” Nino said.

Sho stared in wonder at the three other people he was drinking with. He just realized he didn’t really know much about Nino or Matsumoto despite having worked with them for a long time.

“Then when Nino and I got the job at the company and started earning, I moved out and rented my own apartment. Satoshi-kun tagged along.”

“Jun-kun’s cooking is great. I couldn’t live without it,” Ohno explained.

“Well he was my roommate until he disappeared,” Matsumoto said, stating the obvious that Ohno was no longer his roommate. Ohno just laughed at this and took another drink of his beer. “Seriously Satoshi-kun, your tan is worrying me.”

Ohno chose to ignore Matsumoto’s concern and turned to Sho. “How do you know Nino and Jun-kun?”

“Ah. We work in the same company,” Sho answered straightforwardly. There was really nothing much to tell about his relationship with Nino and Matsumoto. They were colleagues. Friends? Well, maybe they were sort of friends. He never really gave it too much thought, how to define their connection.

To this, Ohno didn’t say anything else and just continued to watch Sho before he turned his attention to the plate of fried mushroom he ordered. Soon after, a plate of kimchi was placed in front of Sho.

“Ah, I didn’t order this,” Sho said, worried that the staff served him someone else’s food.

“I did. I thought you might like their kimchi here. It’s not store-bought. The chef makes it exclusively for this izakaya,” Matsumoto said while pouring beer into each of their glasses.

“Ah, thank you,” Sho mumbled before taking a generous amount with his chopsticks and eating it in one mouthful. And immediately, his face lit up as the flavor spread in his mouth.

“This is delicious!” Sho exclaimed. “Try it! Try it!” Sho said excitingly as he offered the plate to the others.

Nino, Matsumoto and Ohno each took a bit of kimchi that Sho offered and they all exclaimed in various ways how it was as good as always and that the taste had not changed in years.

“I am definitely coming back here for this kimchi!” Sho exclaimed again and then smiled at Matsumoto as he chewed another mouthful. He must have looked funny because Matsumoto ended up laughing at him, but Sho didn’t mind. It was _that_ delicious.

Several beers and skewered meats later, they called it a night and each went their own way, Sho and Nino taking the opposite directions of the train, Ohno taking a taxi home and Matsumoto choosing to walk home. He lived a good two kilometers away but said that he needed the walk to wind down.

It was almost midnight and Sho was excited to get a good soak in the bath and then sleep until noon the next day. He passed by the convenience store below his train stop and bought one of their packed meals, omelet rice, for breakfast tomorrow. It was usually drowned in a thick brown sauce and ketchup but Sho liked it. The cashier, Khalim, greeted Sho like he always did. Khalim was from India and liked to practice his Japanese whenever Sho bought something. Sho would always gladly allow himself to be practiced on and would praise Khalim for his improvements, or give him pointers where he got his sentences wrong. In return, Khalim would teach Sho a word or expression in Hindi. Tonight Sho learned the Hindi word for ‘love’. Sho wrote the word in his phone, thanked Khalim, and wished him an uneventful shift.

As soon as Sho entered his apartment, his phone alerted him with a new message. It was from Matsumoto. Sho wondered what it was about as he removed his shoes and walked to the kitchen to keep the food in the fridge. Despite his curiosity, Sho took his time before opening it. He put away his bag, hung his jacket, removed his tie and unbuckled his belt. As he sat on the edge of his bed, he opened the message from Matsumoto.

_“Thank you for coming with us tonight. It was fun. I’ll see you on Monday.”_

Sho blinked and tried to breathe through the sudden tightness in his chest. He read the message five more times before he could start breathing normally again. What was wrong with him, Sho thought. It was just a short message. Nothing really to get worked up about. Just a colleague thanking him and saying that they’ll see each other come work day. So what was wrong with Sho?

“Get a grip, Sho. It’s just Matsumoto,” Sho told himself.

Sho began to reply, but then thought about what he just wrote and deleted everything before starting again. He tried three more times before settling for _“I had fun, thank you for inviting me. I’ll see you on Monday, too.”_

Immediately after sending the message, Sho put his phone on the bed and hurried to the bathroom, trying to escape the tingling sensation in his chest. But the tingling remained all throughout his bath, which worried Sho and made him wonder if he was starting to have some serious heart disease. The sensation only subsided when he finally tucked himself to bed and closed his eyes.

## VII. Red bean soup

* * *

They did see each other on Monday. And then the next day. And then the next.

And almost every day after that. Well, except Sundays. And a few times on Saturdays. They would see each other during overtime work or outside the office after work. Even during their lunch break, when Matsumoto would join Sho in the cafeteria at the table they first had their lunch together.

It was only for work. At least that was what Sho told himself every time. Even when some of those work-related meet-ups were held at Matsumoto’s apartment and Matsumoto ended up cooking their dinner. That was just incidental to their main purpose which was to draw up their second, and hopefully final, proposal.

If Matsumoto suddenly started hanging out with Sho and Aiba at Aiba’s restaurant, that was also partially due to their work. If the three of them end up having some great conversations and heartful laughter, then that was just incidental to the main goal of their being together at that place at that time. He and Matsumoto just happened to work best when there was food involved.

It wasn’t really Sho’s intention, but Sho had caught himself watching Matsumoto one too many times. He watched him smile, frown, yawn, even watched him eat. Sho had already counted five different types of scowl-like expressions on Matsumoto. Scowl-like because three of those included his resting face when he was concentrating on a task, his face when he was contemplating deeply before making a decision, and the last, his face when he was watching Sho when he thought Sho wasn’t looking. Sho was not sure, but maybe there was something on his face, or between his teeth, and Matsumoto didn’t know how to tell him.

That, or Matsumoto simply didn’t like him.

But that was a contradiction as to how they had been interacting lately – which quite recently had not really made him think anything about it, until Nino had pointed it out.

“You and J seem to be getting along really well,” Nino told Sho as he was fixing Sho’s desktop computer in his cubicle. There was a black screen and Nino was entering letters and numbers and Sho did not even pretend he understood what was happening. All he cared about were his files in that computer and his part of the proposal report he’d been working on the past month.

“Hmm?” was all Sho said. He didn’t quite catch what Nino was saying.

“I said, you and J seem really close recently,” Nino repeated.

“Really?” Sho wondered if that was really true. “Maybe it’s because we’re always working together.”

“Hmmm~”

“It’s just for work.” Sho just had to make that clear.

“If you say so,” Nino said as Sho’s computer miraculously came to life again.

A few days later, it was Aiba who pointed it out to Sho.

_“Ne, Sho-chan? When are you and Matsujun coming to visit again?”_

Sho looked at Aiba’s message, slightly confused. Who on Earth is Matsujun?

_“Matsujun?”_

_”Matsumoto Jun. Matsujun.”_

Trust Aiba to give everyone nicknames, even those whom he’s not supposed to give nicknames – like Sho’s work colleagues.

_“Oh. Well, I don’t know when we will have a meeting there again. But why do you ask?”_

_“I have a new recipe I wanted you guys to try before I put it on the menu.”_

_“Yay! Food! 😊”_

_“I knew you’d say that.”_

_“But why do you need me and Matsumoto to be there.”_

_“Because Matsujun will tell me honestly if the food tastes good or bad, and then you will finish all of it whether it’s delicious or not. So, win-win for me.”_

Sho felt insulted for a good three seconds before he acceded that Aiba was probably right about that. Before Sho could compose a reply, another message from Aiba arrived.

_“Besides, you and Matsujun have a good thing going on between you two. It’s really cute.”_

_“No we don’t… have a thing going on. Whatever that’s supposed to mean.”_

No. He and Matsumoto really didn’t have anything going on. _“It’s just work, Aiba-chan,”_ Sho added.

_“Okay, Sho-chan. If you say so.”_

Of course it is, thought Sho. Why did people keep telling him otherwise?

_“Anyway, Sho-chan, tell me if you’re coming so that I can prepare it for you. I think this one’s going to be a new hit in the restaurant!”_

_“Okay, Aiba-chan. I’m looking forward to it.”_

The message status showed that it was read by the recipient and Sho put down his phone.

“’Good thing going’. Whatever is that supposed to mean,” Sho said to no one in particular. He was alone at home, sitting in front of the TV where a late night Soyokaze variety program was being shown. The show had been running for ten years straight. It was a thirty-minute variety program where they talked to guests, ate food and did silly games. Too bad they weren’t popular enough to get a golden time slot because the group was really interesting and funny. But the fact that the show had run this long meant that they did have viewers. Just not enough.

The show ended and Sho turned on his laptop to polish some details on their project proposal for Soyokaze. He and Matsumoto were investing so much of their time and energy into this project without any assurance and a lot to lose. But he had to believe that this time it was going to work.

Sho felt that he finally got the feel for making this proposal. He had never in his entire career worked in anything involving the entertainment business, or music industry or anything in that field. He worked with numbers, analyzed trends and statistics. This was the part where Matsumoto had the edge over him. Matsumoto’s department worked on event organizing, promotions and marketing. Every so often, Matsumoto and his team would work on projects somewhat related to this kind of market. That aspect of Matsumoto somewhat triggered Sho’s competitiveness. But what gave him the drive was seeing how serious Matsumoto was with this project. Seeing that, Sho knew he had to step up his game. He and Matsumoto were coming up with one cohesive project, but their tasks were very specific and played up their strengths and experience.

But if Nino and Aiba were pointing out how well Sho and Matsumoto were working together, Murao had a different perspective.

“Sakurai, how is that Soyokaze project going along?”

Sho was in front of one of the rare vending machines they had in the building when he heard the question out of the blue. He looked at the direction of the voice and saw Murao walking towards him with purposeful strides.

“Ah, Murao-san. I was just contemplating which drink to get. The red bean soup or the green tea latte,” Sho said, not quite answering Murao’s question.

“Can’t go wrong with red bean soup,” Murao said. “Soon, those won’t be available in these vending machines. I think they’re just going through their last stocks for the season. It will be fruit juices and sodas for the summer.”

“Ah, that is true,” Sho answered and finally pressed the button for the can of red bean soup.

“So how is the Soyokaze project going?” Murao asked again.

“I think it’s going better than the first time,” Sho said, bowing slightly to thank Murao for asking. “Our second proposal might finally get the approval.”

“That’s good to hear,” Murao nodded with a smile. “That’s good to hear.” But then his smile stiffened and Murao’s face turned serious.

“Sakurai, I know that you and Matsumoto seem to be getting along well in this project,” Murao started. “But I’d like to remind you what this project really means.”

Sho, for the first time, felt uncomfortable around Murao. He didn’t like the tone of his voice and the way his face was sternly set.

“This project is supposed to determine which one of you will get that promotion when the two departments merge.” Murao was looking straight into Sho’s eyes and he felt like turning his gaze away, but he didn’t.

“This is a competition. You’re supposed to out-best each other,” Murao continued, placing his hand on Sho’s shoulder.

Sho didn’t know how to react. Of course he knew this was a competition. He knew what was at stake. But somehow, thinking of Matsumoto as someone he had to out-best didn’t sit too well in his gut. And so he faked a smile and smoothly answered, “Of course, Murao-san. I completely understand that.”

Murao answered him with a small smile and a soft pat on his shoulder. “I knew you would. Don’t think that I am speaking ill of Matsumoto. It’s just that I can’t imagine anyone else doing the job but you, Sakurai.”

Murao walked away before Sho could answer. And Sho remained standing there for a minute or so, Murao’s words echoing in his head. Sho took a long sip from the can of red bean soup in his hand. And it had never tasted so bitter.

As the day of the presentation drew closer, the degree of stress also got higher. He tried not to think about what Murao said before and just focused on doing the work. Sho was feeling the pressure and would sometimes speak sharply to his juniors even when he didn’t intend to speak that way. But he heard that it was worse on Matsumoto's floor. Matsumoto was said to be mostly grumpy all day, even when he’d had his usual two cups of coffee. At least that was what the errand runner from Matsumoto’s unit said. Sho was not particularly surprised. Matsumoto, in his normal state, was already exacting and had very high standards, something Sho understood very well. So he could imagine that Matsumoto would be several more times that when he had a deadline to meet with not much time to spare.

At nine fifteen in the evening, Sho started preparing to leave the office. He had intended to head home early to get some rest but one of the new hires, Shori, made so many mistakes in his report, and that delayed everything in the department. Sho sat with him the entire time, trying not to intimidate the already rattled young man.

Sho was about to get on the elevator when his phone rang. It was Nino.

Sho ignored the call and let it go to voicemail. Not even a second later, Nino was calling again. It must be something important. Sho sighed and took the call.

“Yes, this is Sakurai.”

“Sho-chan, still at the office?”

“I was just about to leave. Why?”

“Can you go up to the Marketing Management and Development department?” Matsumoto’s department. Nino’s way of talking didn’t seem like there was anything amiss.

But.

“Why?” Sho asked. The elevator going down was just a couple of floors above and he was already ready to leave. Sho wasn’t too keen on going up.

“My friend Yamada is in that department and he just sent me an SOS.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? And why do I need to go up to another person’s department. I’m from the accounting department, remember?” Sho said, silently tutting when he let the elevator door close without going inside.

“Well, it would seem like they’ve been in that meeting since ten in the morning. And Jun-pon can’t seem to decide about something for the project proposal presentation next week. They need an intervention, ASAP.”

Sho could hear Nino’s game music in the background. Obviously, Nino was the one asked to intervene, but he was already at home and playing games. That meant nothing could possibly make Nino leave his house anymore.

But a seven-hour meeting? Just what was going on with Matsumoto?

Sho sighed again before cutting the call and pressed the up button for the elevator. The door opened immediately and he took a deep breath before stepping inside. He felt slightly nervous going up to Matsumoto’s turf. Not because of what Murao said, but because he realized that this would be the first time he’d go up there. It had always been Matsumoto who would come to Sho in his office or at the cafeteria. He had never seen how Matsumoto was in his workspace.

Two floors up and the elevator door opened to a corridor which looked exactly the same as Sho’s floor, except for the signage and color scheme – which was a good thing. At least he knew where the meeting room would be.

Sho walked a few meters to his left and stood in front of the closed meeting room door. He could hear some voices coming from inside but he couldn’t understand most of it. Sho took a deep breath before raising his hand to knock. He knocked twice and then turned the knob.

“Excuse the intrusion. I…” Sho said with a smile but was cut off by the way everyone in the room looked at him. Their eyes were wide with surprise, their mouths slightly opened in a small ‘o’. And then like a choreographed stage play, those looks all together transformed into expressions of relief, the silence replaced by soft whispers of ‘thank goodness’, ‘please help us here’. There were piles of papers and folders on the table and on the floor. There were at least three whiteboards in front and at the sides of the room with diagrams and post its and taped bond papers. The room smelled of stale coffee and pizza, with the discarded empty boxes piled randomly on one of the corner tables.

And at the center of all the chaos was Matsumoto Jun, his hair disheveled, eyes tired and bloodshot, his tie loose and sleeves rolled up.

“Sakurai-kun?” Matsumoto said in surprise, his voice a little raspy, probably from having talked all day and from just sheer exhaustion.

Sho gave a small bow. “Pardon the intrusion. I just… Uhm. I was just going to ask how things are doing for next week.” Sho was choosing his words carefully. He didn’t want it to appear like he was sent there. He also didn’t want it to appear like he was going to intrude into Matsumoto’s territory.

“But it seems like you’re still not done for the day. Uhm. I think I’ll…”

“No, it’s okay,” Matsumoto interrupted him. “Would you like to join us? I think a different perspective might help us here.” Matsumoto motioned Sho to sit on an empty chair on his far left.

Sho made his way to the seat and when he finally sat down, he suddenly doubted his decision to come up here. There were about six other people in the room besides Matsumoto and Sho. He recognized Yamada, Nino’s friend who sent the SOS. He hardly worked with these people in the past, this small group of people Matsumoto gathered to help him in the project proposal. Sho was not sure if his presence was appreciated. But when he looked around, he saw the other people in the room giving him small smiles. Whether those were out of politeness or out of relief, Sho couldn’t tell.

“Everyone, meet Sakurai Sho from the Accounting and Finance Department. He’s the other person in charge of this project proposal. Please introduce yourselves.”

One by one, the six members of the team introduced themselves. There was the young and serious-looking Yamada Ryosuke. The shy but loud Maruyama Ryuhei. Another stern-looking guy named Tamamori Yuta. The woman with the wide smile but sharp eyes, Eikura Nana. The woman with the soft eyes but who rarely smiled, Kimura Fumino. And a middle-aged looking man who only introduced himself as Maggi.

It was amazing that Matsumoto was even able to gather these many from his department. Meanwhile, Sho was only able to solicit the help of Ueda and Masuda, who weirdly enough started calling Sho ‘aniki’ all the time.

“Sakurai-kun already has the general outline of my part of the proposal, so I think we can continue with the discussion,” Matsumoto began and the other members looked at the files in front of them, making sure that they were looking at the same page.

As the discussion progressed, it became more and more obvious what the problem was. Matsumoto Jun, perfectionist that he was, could not settle between two good ideas. He was grasping at both, trying to merge two good ideas which simply did not complement each other.

Sho could see the frustration in Matsumoto’s face, a thin layer on top of the fatigue. Sho could somehow understand Matsumoto’s hesitation, but it could not be both. He had to choose one.

“What do you think, Sakurai-kun?” Matsumoto finally asked Sho, and he knew he had to choose his words carefully. He neither wanted to sound condescending nor dismissive.

Sho now had a general idea how Matsumoto worked. He was detailed and meticulous. He wanted every aspect accounted for. He wanted all T’s crossed and I’s dotted, checked twice to make sure they were indeed crossed and dotted. Matsumoto also wanted things to be, if it was within his ability, perfect. But if there were two good ideas, both supposedly perfect ideas, but there could only be one choice, then didn’t that mean that neither of the two was perfect in the first place? So this kind of problem must have been burning holes in Matsumoto’s stomach.

Sho cleared his throat and began.

“I think there are several aspects here which we can’t really create with certainty. Those are the parts which would depend on the decision of Journey’s Jimusho and Soyokaze themselves.” Sho turned his gaze to Matsumoto who was also looking at him with a serious look.

“Both of these options have their pros and cons. They are not perfect,” Sho continued, noticing the way Matsumoto’s lips tensed as he mentioned that. Now addressing the entire group, Sho began explaining his thought process. “Matsumoto-kun and I have observed the interactions and patterns of behavior of Soyokaze members with their staff on several occasions. And I believe this team, and my team, have done several surveys and market research to predict the possible response of the general public and fans to Soyokaze.” From his peripheral field, Sho could see Matsumoto stand up and approach the large whiteboard in front of the meeting table.

“So I think, based on those pieces of information, we can choose one which we think is best for the Soyokaze that we know.”

When Matsumoto said nothing, Sho felt slightly nervous. Matsumoto was just standing in front of the whiteboard, with his hands on his waist and his head tilted a little to the right.

“And which one would you choose, Sakurai-kun?” Matsumoto finally said, his back still facing Sho.

“I choose the first option,” Sho said without hesitation. There was a slight shift in Matsumoto’s stance and Sho just knew in his gut that that must have been Matsumoto’s first choice as well.

There were a few beats of silence which stretched into a minute. Matsumoto then turned around to face the team and declared, “Let’s go with option one.”

There were sighs of relief and buzz of murmurs, and as if they were following a choreographed dance, the members just naturally started talking about the details of that plan, each member tackling one detail which seamlessly connected to another detail. Sho was amazed with the efficiency and teamwork of Matsumoto’s people. Matsumoto himself started removing some post-its on the board and replaced them with another.

In the midst of all the activity, Sho’s eyes met Matsumoto’s and he mouthed a ‘thank you’ with a tiny bow. Sho returned the gesture and returned his attention to the group.

At some point, Matsumoto went back to his chair and allowed his team to comb through the details. Sho listened attentively, making sure that he didn’t lose the flow of the discussion. He might need to make some adjustments in his computations later, but that could wait.

They spent the next hour discussing, throwing ideas on the table, going back and forth and then around. And at exactly ten forty-five in the evening, Matsumoto thanked everyone for creating their project proposal.

Matsumoto’s team were one by one leaving the office when Matsumoto finally gave them permission to leave. The mess at the meeting room had been cleaned and the lights were all turned off, except for the department head’s office. Matsumoto was standing behind his table, putting things in order and packing his bag. Sho watched Matsumoto from his office’s doorway and wondered if everything Matsumoto did was this interesting.

Matsumoto had a certain way of arranging his work desk. One side was packed with papers and folders and what not, while the other side was empty save for a pen holder. There was a sad-looking, limp succulent at the corner of his desk. The tips were already starting to brown – it probably had not been watered or allowed to sit under the sun in a while. 

At the corner of the sofa was a folded blanket. Sho wondered how often Matsumoto needed that blanket when he took a much needed nap. It was mostly white with a nice shade of blue here and there. Just like Blankie.

The thought that Blankie actually belonged to Matsumoto crossed Sho’s mind for all but a split second before it got buried into his subconscious.

“Sakurai-kun?”

Sho heard his name and naturally turned to the source. Matsumoto was already standing, just a few paces in front of Sho. He did not expect Matsumoto to be that close and he instinctively took a step back.

“Ah, sorry. Didn’t realize you were there… Uhm. Should we go?”

“I did just say that,” Matsumoto said as he started to close the door.

“You did? I guess I didn’t hear you.” Sakurai really didn’t. He was thinking about something and just got lost in thought.

“Hmm. You should get some rest.”

“Yeah, you too.” Sho and Matsumoto didn’t say much on the way down, just like the way it was a few months back when they both coincidentally left the office late and rode the elevator in silence.

This time, the silence felt companionable rather than awkward. Sho did not feel the need to fill the silence with small talk. Matsumoto must have felt the same because he also didn’t say a word. Not even when he and Sho naturally just walked in the same direction towards the train station. And like usual, Matsumoto got off first at his stop, whispering a ‘Goodnight, see you tomorrow’ before stepping out and into the platform. Sho said his usual ‘Goodnight, take care’. And Matsumoto would stay at the platform to watch the train go like always before heading out the gates. And Sho would watch Matsumoto on the platform like usual, until he no longer could.

## VIII. Karaage

* * *

Sho looked at his reflection in the mirror. It felt like a déjà vu. Wasn’t it only a few months back when he looked at his wet face in the mirror, in this same toilet after another eventful meeting?

The cold water dripped from his face, leaving wet patches on the collar and front of his crisp, white shirt. He had rolled the sleeves up his forearm, but he pretty much couldn’t do much about the rest of his shirt.

“We need to talk about this.”

Hadn’t he heard that same line from back then as well?

And just like back then, Matsumoto was leaning against the white tiled wall, looking at Sho through his reflection in the mirror.

What was different this time was that Sho was not angry – he was shocked. Matsumoto was no longer just a face with a name – he was a colleague. An ally. A friend. 

Sho watched Matsumoto walk to the paper towel dispenser, pulled a couple of sheets and walked over to hand it to Sho.

“Here.”

Sho took the offered paper towels with a soft ‘Thanks’.

“What is it with President Kimura and her penchant for dropping bombs at us like this,” Matsumoto asked as he began washing his hands, and then splashing the cold water on his face as well. It seemed like Sho was not the only one who was shaken by the announcement today.

This time, it was Sho who walked to the paper towel dispenser and returned the gesture for Matsumoto. After their faces were dried and their shirts and ties straightened, they both sighed and went back into the unknown that was the meeting room.

They were on the top floor of the company's building. This was where the president and CEO held her office. At Sho and Matsumoto’s level, they hardly got called to meetings at this floor, but today’s assembly was special. Just before they were called for the presentation of the Soyokaze project proposal, they were informed by President Kimura’s secretary that Journey’s Jimusho's president would be present together with his board members. J Storm’s board members would also be present. And, of course, Soyokaze would be there. But Sho couldn’t imagine why this project proposal presentation warranted this kind of audience.

Sho and Matsumoto stopped at the door, faced each other and surveyed the other from head to toe.

“How’s the tie?” Sho asked.

“Good. How’s mine?” Jun asked.

“Good.”

They shook each other’s hand, no longer caring if one was a little wet with sweat and the other a little cold and shaky.

The room was silent when they were finally sent in. The conference desks were arranged in three layers of semi-circles, all facing the front. The Soyokaze members turned and gave them tiny waves and soft smiles, which Sho answered with a small nod. Other than that, the rest of the people in the room all had somber expressions. Sho could not recognize most of the faces there, but the names on the name plates on the table were mostly familiar. Board members. Company lawyers. And from Journey’s Jimusho – President Nankai Journey himself. The other names were only familiar because he had read those names in the contracts and documents of Soyokaze. There was nothing in particular that struck him, except for one name – Takizawa Hideaki, Journey’s Jimusho’s vice-president, the youngest vice-president. And Sho watched as Takizawa stared long and hard at Matsumoto as he passed by his seat.

Sho and Matsumoto made their way to the front as President Kimura introduced them to President Nankai. The sound of his heartbeat was deafening to Sho, he was so sure everyone else in the room could hear it. Matsumoto turned his head to look at him, and Sho was almost certain Matsumoto could hear it, too.

It had been a while since Sho had felt this nervous. It was both scary and exciting to feel it again. When they reached the front of the room, they greeted the audience and bowed their heads.

Matsumoto began to set up his laptop for the presentation. They had talked about this for weeks – how they would conduct their presentation. They decided that it was best to do it straightforwardly. Together.

“Sakurai-san, would you mind stepping out of the room for now?” was what President Kimura suddenly said.

 _Step out? Now!?_ Sho looked at Matsumoto and he saw shock and distress on his face. No, Sho couldn’t have Matsumoto all stressed and anxious now. So he smiled at him before bowing to the rest of the room and stepping out.

Sho was led to a small office where he was told to sit and wait. And would he like some tea while he was waiting, the young woman who led him there asked. And all Sho could do was to give a curt ‘No, thank you.’

He couldn’t stay still. He paced the room for what felt like hours, wondering what President Kimura was up to. He was nervous for Matsumoto, anxious for himself, angry at the possibility that they were being set up and frustrated at the fact that he really couldn’t do anything now but wait.

Sho forced himself to calm down. He had to calm down. Whatever was happening there with Matsumoto, Sho needed to be ready. And he had to believe. Matsumoto could definitely do this. They both knew this project proposal like the back of their hands. They had put so much into this. He had to believe, no, he knew Matsumoto could do this.

As soon as Sho calmed down, there was a knock at the door and the young woman from earlier walked in to tell him that his presence was being requested at the meeting room. Sho fixed his tie and straightened his coat, wiped his palm on the inside of his pockets and walked back to the meeting room.

Sho couldn’t find Matsumoto when he walked in. It was safe to assume that Matsumoto had been led out of the room, and now it was Sho’s turn.

He walked purposefully to the front, not minding the scrutiny of the people in the room. When he reached the front, he gave them a respectful bow and waited for instructions. He couldn’t get anything from the audience’s faces – they were as somber as they were at the start.

“Sakurai-san, please present your project proposal,” President Kimura said.

“With pleasure, thank you very much,” Sho said smoothly.

His heart was pounding again but he ignored it. This was not the time to ponder on his nervousness. With the way things were going, it was safe to assume that they also made Matsumoto present the entire proposal by himself.

Smart move.

If he were President Kimura, he would have done the same. What better way to evaluate the two competing individuals than to make them present the same material?

Sho started by greeting everyone in the room and then started the presentation slides that he and Matsumoto prepared. Sho was thankful they opted not to do the report with fanfare. They made it simple, direct to the point and easy to follow.

“Soyokaze has just entered their nineteenth year as a Journey’s Jimusho idol group. Next year would be their twentieth year and the group has set a new goal – enter the international music industry scene,” Sho started.

“What do we know about Soyokaze? Among the twenty debuted groups in Journey’s Jimusho, they are ranked tenth for the most number of fan club members. They are ranked eleventh in popularity based on multiple magazine sources. They are ranked tenth in the most number of albums, singles and DVDs sold. The group has one long-running late night variety show. Two of the five members are MCs in two different variety/talk shows. And one of the five members has a long-running, once a week, thirty-minute late night radio show.”

This was the easiest part of their presentation. These were just facts. Statistics. Numbers. Ranking. No one would find fault in these.

“What did we find out about Soyokaze?” This was the more difficult part. These were deductions and conclusions that Sho and Matsumoto made from their own observations, research and surveys.

“Soyokaze has never reached the number one spot for singles release and album release Oricon rankings. The highest spot they have claimed was at number three for fifteen of their singles. Among women, their marketability is strongest in the late thirties to fifties age group, but they are also strong in the middle twenties to early thirties. Among men, they are strongest in the late twenties to late thirties age group.”

Sho watched the reactions of Soyokaze and the President Nankai. He could not get anything from their expressions. But, of course, they had heard all this from Matsumoto before.

“Among fan club members across different groups, Soyokaze is ranked fifth for their voice quality, and ranked fifteenth for their dancing quality.”

“The members' recognizability among the general public ranges from thirty-five to forty-two percent. Based on group activities, ranked from highest to lowest, they are recognized best for their television show, movies and dramas, singing and dancing, and product endorsements.”

“They have never done activities outside of Japan.”

“In conclusion, they are not the number one idol group in Japan.”

There were few murmurs and few raised brows, but Sho had already expected that.

“Furthermore,” Sho continued, not waiting for the room to completely quiet down, “Soyokaze has a number of international following. If we would look at this graph from a blog of an international fan, who conducted a survey via social media including Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Weibo and Line, we could see that there are several clusters of international fans in Southeast Asia, China, South Korea, Australia, Europe, South America, North America and Canada.”

“In Twitter and Instagram, there is a large presence of Soyokaze fan accounts dedicated to sharing Soyokaze information and materials. This is also a mixture of Japanese and international accounts. Due to Journey’s Jimusho’s restriction on social media presence of their groups, in the global scale, Soyokaze’s internet presence is largely overshadowed by other international acts, including the K-pop idol groups.”

Sho kept going. He could do this. They had worked their asses off for this. He and Matsumoto and their teams had gone back and forth, again and again, with this proposal. Sure, Sho was mostly in charge of the logistics and time-table, and expenses and income projections, market and shares stability of both of the companies involved. But Sho also knew all of the ins and outs of the parts where Matsumoto took over, the same way that Matsumoto knew the ins and outs of all aspects of the parts where Sho took over. None of these were made in isolation of the other. Everything was done taking everything else in consideration.

He was already in the flow, and he kept going. There were no interruptions, no questions, no objections from the audience.

“This is our proposed four-phase plan for Soyokaze: Phase one – make Soyokaze the number one idol group in Japan.”

Sho could see the small smiles on Soyokaze’s faces and he’d like to think that they liked that idea, too.

“Phase two – open a venue for interaction with international fans similar to the interaction with Japanese fans. Phase three – put Soyokaze’s activities in Japan into the international radar. And phase four – bring Soyokaze’s activities outside of Japan. And the most important step is phase one.”

Sho kept talking for almost forty-five minutes. He went into all the details that they agreed upon. The presentation only had keywords and diagrams, tables, flowcharts and illustrations. There was no script. Just like what Matsumoto did. Sho knew because they both agreed to not follow a script. This was one of their strong points, he and Matsumoto – when they present, it’s not just a presentation, it’s a performance.

When he finished, the room was once again quiet. No one was talking. No one was clapping. It didn’t matter, he could see it in their eyes. They were satisfied. Everything had gone better than Sho had expected. It was definitely better than their first proposal.

Sho thanked the audience and bowed before he stepped back to wait for any questions. However, he was instead led out of the room once again and into another office. But this time Matsumoto was waiting for him outside.

Matsumoto stood up as soon as he saw Sho come in.

“How did it go?” Matsumoto asked.

“Good. How did yours go?” Sho asked back.

“Good.”

They stared at each other for a good few seconds before they burst into laughter, all the tension slowly replaced by relief. Sho clapped Matsumoto’s shoulder and Matsumoto answered with a tap on Sho’s arm. And then they were laughing again, full-hearted, all out laughter. The young woman who had been assisting them gave them an odd look and slowly went out of the room. Would she tell the others that Sho and Matsumoto had lost their minds? It didn’t matter.

“I can’t believe they did this to us,” Matsumoto said, wiping the corners of his eyes and taking a long inhale.

Sho was holding his stomach, trying to ease the sudden muscle pain from laughing too much. “We should have foreseen it. This is President Kimura we are talking about after all.”

Matsumoto only shook his head, took one of the bottled water on the coffee table and finished the entire bottle in one go. He had been so thirsty since the end of his turn but couldn’t get himself to drink. He got nervous all over again when it was Sho’s turn.

“So really, how did it go?” Sho asked when they were finally sitting down at opposite ends of the couch.

“Okay, I suppose. But it was nerve wracking. No one was talking. No one was reacting. I had no visual and verbal cues from the audience to work with,” Matsumoto had his eyes closed, as he massaged the bridge of his nose. Sho could also feel the start of a migraine – that dull, throbbing pain at the back of his left eye. It seemed like all the sleep deprivation and fatigue had finally caught up with them.

“Soyokaze smiled a little when I said that we would make them the number one idol group in Japan.” Sho recalled that tiny reaction and how good it made him feel.

This time it was Matsumoto who smiled. “I like the idea of making them the number one idol group in Japan.”

“Right?” Sho smiled back. “I felt really good saying that.”

Sho wondered how long they would be made to wait. He and Matsumoto shouldn’t really feel this at ease when just next door people were talking about their futures. But did it really matter now? They did what they could to prepare. The presentation was over. Everything was up to the, basically, group of people in the meeting room, most of whom they had never met until now.

Sho didn’t think it was fair for people who had never worked closely with them, never had seen them toil, never had spent time to talk about their goals and dreams, to decide who was better just based on watching and listening to them for less than an hour.

Surely, some would argue that in this cut-throat corporate world, sometimes five minutes was all you’d ever get to prove yourself. Maybe at one point Sho had thought that way as well, especially at that time when he himself was at the bottom of the so-called corporate food chain. But after more than ten years in this business, after watching hard-working, good people lose their jobs because someone in the higher ups didn’t see their worth, Sho knew that there was a difference between doing a good job and giving the appearance of doing a good job.

Sho was snapped out of this thoughts by a loud knock. They thought that it would be the young woman from earlier, whose name they never got the chance to ask. Instead, President Kimura walked in, driving Sho and Matsumoto to quickly stand and give respective bows.

“Psh. Enough of that. Sit down, we’ve all had a long day. It’s seven in the evening and I’ve already missed the dinner my husband made to celebrate my granddaughter’s sixth birthday. So let’s make this fast,” President Kimura said, sitting on the high-back office chair behind the desk.

Sho and Matsumoto immediately sat on the chairs at the other side of the president’s desk.

“Congratulations on your presentation today. You two made it very difficult for us to make a decision,” she said with a smirk and then laughed.

Should this demeanor make Sho feel safe or should he be worried? He quickly glanced over at Matsumoto and when their eyes met, Sho saw the same uncertainty in his eyes.

“First of all, Sakurai-san, congratulations. Once Murao-san retires, you will become the Managing Director of Operations. The Finance and Accounting Department, as well as Matsumoto’s Marketing Management and Development Department, would both be under your management… as well as two other departments.”

_Managing Director? What? Wait! This was not what they were told. Sho only expected to be promoted to their department’s manager._

The shock must have shown on Sho’s face because President Kimura smirked at him and said, “Well, I would look that way as well if I were you. This won’t be an easy job.” She was still looking at Sho, her gaze never wavering. “Think of it this way, in another five years or so, you might just be able to get my job.” She laughed and Sho knew he should at least nod to show his gratitude, but right now, his brain was refusing to process everything. “I recommend you start working on finding candidates for replacement for Murao-san in your department, and you as well, Matsumoto.”

This time President Kimura turned his attention to Matsumoto, who looked as surprised as Sho. If Sho was getting the promotion, did it mean Matsumoto was losing his job. No, it couldn’t be. Sho couldn’t accept that. Not Matsumoto. Matsumoto deserved this position as much as he did.

“Matsumoto-san,” President Kimura continued, “you are no longer the Manager of the Marketing Management and Development Department.”

Sho felt like the world stopped and like in slow motion, he watched Matsumoto’s face turn from surprise to an unreadable expression Sho had never seen before.

“You have until the end of the month,” President Kimura continued.

Somehow, the elation Sho felt for being promoted crumbled and now he just felt cold. They couldn’t do this to Matsumoto. Sho was about to say something when he was curtly cut by President Kimura.

“Let me finish, Sakurai-san.” She returned her attention to Matsumoto. “You have until the end of the month, Matsumoto-san. You will clear your desk and immediately report to Journey’s Jimusho’s vice-president Takizawa Hideaki.”

“I beg your pardon?” Matsumoto’s voice sounded dry and unsure.

“J Storm Corporations has bought forty percent of Journey’s Jimusho’s stocks, and we officially became part owner today.”

There was silence. Sho was confused. Matsumoto looked even more so.

“Vice-president Takizawa has been chosen as CEO of a subsidiary company under joint ownership by Journey’s Jimusho and J Storm Corporations. The subsidiary company will be taking over some of the Journey’s groups, including Soyokaze. And you, Matsumoto-san, will be working under Vice-President Takizawa as that subsidiary company’s COO.”

President Kimura then looked at her watch and immediately stood up. “My husband is probably seething by now. I should at least show up for the opening of the presents for my granddaughter.”

She started walking to the door while Sho and Matsumoto were still glued to their seats.

“Good night. You did very well to impress our board of directors and Journey’s Jimusho’s board of directors. Get some rest. We’ll discuss the details as soon as possible.”

President Kimura walked out the room with a short wave, and for a while all they could hear was the muted thump of her heels against the carpeted floor. And then they were being ushered out of the room and into the elevator. Next thing they knew, they were at the first floor, looking at the empty lobby area, except for Nino who was sitting beside Murakami-san at the security desk, playing something on his phone.

“Thank you for your hard work today, Sakurai-san, Matsumoto-san,” Murakami greeted them.

They were still standing outside the elevators, unsure how they got there, and confused as hell about what exactly just happened.

“Oi! Sho-chan, Jun-pon. How did it go?” Nino said as he shuffled towards them.

There was no answer.

“Damn. Well, okay. Right. I don’t know what is going on, but we’re celebrating tonight,” Nino said as he took Sho’s and Matsumoto’s hands and pulled them towards a parked car near the entrance.

As they approached the car, the driver’s window opened and Aiba called out to them with an enthusiastic wave.

“Sho-chan!!! Matsujun!!!” When he got no response, Aiba looked at Nino. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Nino shrugged. “They’ve been like this since they came down from the meeting.”

“Well, that’s what we’re here for. We’re here to party, whether it’s for celebration or for misery. Let’s go!” Aiba was still excited and Sho had the feeling he should be telling Aiba to keep his voice down.

Nino opened the door to the back seat, where Ohno had already made himself comfortable.

“Hi Jun-kun. Hi Sho-kun,” he said lazily, like he had just woken up, which was probably the case.

“Scoot over, Oh-chan,” Nino instructed and led Sho inside, then Matsumoto. Nino himself took the passenger seat beside Aiba.

“All strapped in?” Aiba asked.

“Yeesss,” Nino and Ohno said in unison.

“Alright! Let’s go!” Aiba turned on the engine and soon they were on the highway, going all the way to Chiba.

Between Sho and Matsumoto, it was Sho who found his voice first.

“Where are you taking us, Aiba-chan?”

“Ahhhh!!!! Don’t just talk so suddenly, Sho-chan!” Aiba said. “But yay! Welcome back.”

“I didn’t go anywhere,” Sho said, trying to peek between the two front seats to see where they were.

“You two looked like someone stole your souls or something. You guys weren’t responding to anything.” Aiba was, of course, exaggerating. 

“Hi, Satoshi-kun,” Matsumoto softly said beside Sho.

“Hi, Jun-kun,” Ohno said and then closed his eyes again.

“Wake up, Oh-chan, we’ll be arriving soon.” Nino turned on his seat and tried to stretch his hand back to reach Ohno but couldn’t.

“Ah, didn’t realize you had such small hands, Nino,” Sho said, genuinely surprised to see how small Nino’s hands were. “They’re like little hamburger buns.”

“Gee, thanks, Sho-chan,” Nino said with just a little bit of sarcasm. “Could you wake Ohno up back there? And keep him up? He’ll end up sleeping the entire night if we don’t wake him up now.”

Matsumoto tapped Ohno’s shoulder, but Ohno only turned his head and continued to sleep. He then started shaking his shoulders, which earned a grunt and something which sounded like ‘the tuna is getting away’.

“Sheesh, do I have to do everything here?” Nino said as he started fiddling with his phone. Suddenly, a loud alarm started to sound and it was coming from Nino’s phone. Ohno was suddenly awake, confusedly looking around the car.

“Good morning, old man,” Nino greeted him, turned off the alarm and turned his attention back to the road as if nothing happened.

“Good morning,” Ohno replied as he yawned. “Are we there yet?”

There was nothing funny about what Ohno said, but somehow, the four others just started laughing as if it was the funniest thing they had heard all day.

Fifteen minutes later, they arrived at Aiba’s house, which was only a few blocks away from his restaurant. Aiba led them inside, where they were greeted by a lovely, bouncy, fluffy cloud of dog named Kizoku.

“I’m home, Kizoku-sama.” The dog returned Aiba’s greetings with licks and tail wags. “I brought friends over.” The dog seemed to understand and started greeting the other four with sniffs and tail wags, happily letting them give him head pats and neck rubs. This dog was definitely not a guard dog.

“I have some slippers here,” Aiba opened the shoe cabinet beside the genkan and started randomly handing out any pair he could get his hand on. The one he gave Sho was too small, and the one Ohno got was obviously too big.

Aiba went ahead inside, with Kizoku-sama trotting behind him. Nino and Ohno followed suit, chatting as they looked around the house. Sho and Matsumoto were left behind the genkan. Dress shoes weren’t as easy to remove as sneakers and slippers.

“Tell me again why we’re here?” Matsumoto said as he sat down on the elevated floor to unlace his shoes.

“I have no idea,” Sho sighed as he did the same. There was relief when he finally slipped out of his shoes. Sure, these shoes were stylish and completed the whole corporate look, but they sure pinched.

“I never knew Nino and Satoshi-kun were close friends with Aiba-kun.” Matsumoto wiggled his toes once they were out of his shoes.

“Hmmm. I brought Nino to Aiba’s restaurant before, but that was one time.” Sho recalled bringing Nino once with him to have dinner at Aiba’s restaurant. That was several years back, and neither Nino nor Aiba had ever indicated that they were friends.

Sho wore the too small slippers and went inside, closely followed by Matsumoto. Sho had been to Aiba’s house countless times and was already familiar with the layout. He made his way to the kitchen, where he knew Aiba would be.

“Aiba-chan, why are we here again?” Sho asked as he opened Aiba’s fridge to get a beer.

“Do I need a reason to invite my friends over at my house?” Aiba said with an exaggerated pout.

“Well, not really, but you never do anything without a reason,” Sho reasoned. He handed Matsumoto another can of beer which he graciously took.

“Ahhh! That felt good!” Sho exclaimed after taking a long drink from his can.

“Ah, Sho-chan, can you bring the rest of the beer to the living room? I’m just going to heat up our dinner.” Aiba already had something heating up in the microwave and something heating up in the pots on his stove.

“I’ll help you, Aiba-kun,” Matsumoto said, already removing his coat and rolling up the sleeve of his shirt.

“I’ll bring the beer to Nino and Ohno-kun,” Sho declared.

“Thanks!” Aiba exclaimed. “You can use this, Matsujun,” Aiba said as he handed Matsumoto his apron.

While Aiba and Matsumoto were busy preparing the food, Sho began transferring the beer from the fridge and on to one of Aiba’s serving trays. Sho could hear Aiba and Matsumoto chatting something about the food and ingredients and something about sharing some recipes.

Sho smiled as he listened to them. Somehow, it made him happy to see Matsumoto and Nino and Ohno here, in this part of his life, not because they were at work but because they were friends.

When Sho reached Aiba’s living room, Ohno was sitting on the floor beside the couch. Nino, on the other hand, was setting up Aiba’s Wii console, from which Sho made two conclusions. First, Nino had been here before. He knew where to find Aiba’s console and was comfortable enough to set it up himself. Second, for Nino to come all the way to Chiba meant that he and Aiba were that close.

“I have the beer,” Sho declared as he carefully set them down on the low table in front of the couch.

“Yaay! Beer!” Nino and Ohno rejoiced. Nino finished connecting the console to Aiba’s LED TV and sat beside Ohno and Sho, and clinked their cans of beer with an enthusiastic ‘kanpai!!!’

“Food is here!” Aiba walked in, carrying one large plate of his specialty fried rice and another plate of karaage. Matsumoto came in a few moments later, carrying another plate filled with gyoza and a tray with assorted vegetable side dishes.

“Ah! Those look delicious, Aiba-chan,” Sho exclained, genuinely happy to see the food Aiba prepared for them.

“Ah, the takuan looks good.”

“Why are you focusing on the side dishes when Aiba took great effort to prepare his specialty dishes?”

“Ah, sorry, Aiba-chan.”

“Don’t use your hand, Nino. Here, chopsticks!”

“Can you please pass the plate?”

“I forgot to bring the soy sauce.”

“Which should I try first?”

“Here’s the gyoza…”

“Aaaah! Delicious!”

“I should have made potato salad, too.”

“Wait, wait, wait! Let’s make a toast first.”

Sho wasn’t sure who was talking anymore, with one speaking over the other, and one talking with someone while another was saying something. It was a wonderful sound. It was pleasing despite the chaos.

Someone had put another can of beer in Sho’s hand, and Aiba was already poised for a toast.

“Alright! Let’s make a toast to Sho-chan and Matsujun for finally finishing their project proposal and successfully presenting it today.”

“How did you know it was successful?” Nino interjected teasingly.

“Of course it was. It definitely was. Right? Anyway, let’s just toast everyone.” Aiba raised his beer again and all together they all said ‘kanpai’.

It was almost nine in the evening and they pretty much were all past their usual dinner time. Sho and Matsumoto were both ravenous. They both couldn’t eat anything for lunch, their stomach too upset with nervousness to hold anything down.

Sometime during the night, Nino challenged Aiba to a Mario Kart game and Aiba beat Nino in the first round. They were already at their fifth and Nino was determined to beat Aiba.

Ohno was already softly snoring on Aiba’s couch, while Sho and Matsumoto were both nursing the last cans of beers. They were still sitting on the floor, absentmindedly watching Aiba and Nino go at each other’s throat in Mario Kart.

“Ne, Sho-kun, we really did it, huh,” Matsumoto spoke softly.

Sho turned to look at Matsumoto, wondering if he really heard it right – he called him Sho-kun. It must be the alcohol and the general atmosphere with all their friends here. Sho didn’t mind at all. He liked the way Matsumoto said it so easily. Jun still had his eyes on the screen, but Sho knew that he was waiting for him to say something.

“We really did, Jun-kun,” Sho answered and he watched the smile spread on Jun’s face, the lights softening the angles. 

The lights were dim, they were comfortable, they were in a safe place, they were surrounded by good friends. Everything was a stark contrast to how they felt most of the day. Maybe that was why Sho was letting his guard down and was letting himself to simply go along with his feelings. Sho took the opportunity to really, carefully look at Jun. Yes, he had seen that face this close before. He had watched the changing expressions on that face. But he had never really just looked. Sho knew that Jun knew he was staring, but Jun didn’t turn away or looked down the way he would when he was embarrassed. And so Sho looked.

And as he looked, mixed feelings suddenly overtook him. Yes, he was beyond elated that they both got promoted, a managing director and a chief operations officer. Those things weren’t the kinds to just appear on your doorstep on a daily basis. But he also felt morose at the thought that he was not going to see Jun everyday anymore. They had been working together on this project for almost half a year, seeing each other almost every day, talking, mailing, messaging and calling each other just as frequently. The Saturday working lunches at Jun’s apartment. Those things were suddenly not going to be there. The thought made Sho almost regret that the entire process was over.

Jun must have read his mind because he suddenly said, “This might sound weird, but I’m actually going to miss working with you.” Jun was suddenly more interested in the can of beer in his hand and kept staring at it.

“I’m going to miss working with you, too,” Sho answered. And it was true. Jun had his quirks but he was a pleasure to work with. He kept Sho on his toes, challenged him, pushed him to do more, made him feel good about his work and taught him plenty about working with people.

“I’m going to miss your interesting playlist.”

“I think I might actually miss your interesting wardrobe.”

“I’ll probably miss your tiny office cubicle.”

“Maybe I’ll miss you cooking.”

“Maybe I’ll miss your appetite.”

Jun turned to look at Sho and Jun was relaxed and unguarded and it was all Sho could do to not move closer to him and just be closer.

“I’m gonna get some water. Do you want some?” Jun slowly stood up, lightly shaking his legs to get the blood moving again.

“No, thank you. I’m good.”

“Alright.”

Sho watched as Jun walked away, taking the opportunity to examine the churning in his gut and the little ache right at the center of his chest. This could be very well a bad case of heartburn, but it probably had a lot more to do with Jun.

 _I think I will miss you, Matsumoto Jun._ Deep down, that was what Sho wanted to say. But he would not. Because Jun was a friend and a colleague and… Excuses aside, Sho was just scared.

Sho tilted his head back, resting it against the edge of the couch where Ohno was sleeping.

“Sho-chan…” Ohno whispered.

“Sorry, Ohno-kun. Did I wake you?” Sho asked, letting his head sink further into the soft pillow Ohno placed against him.

“Nah. Been awake a while.”

Which meant he probably heard most of the conversation he had with Jun. “Hmmm… Ne, Ohno-kun?”

“Uhn?”

“When you go fishing and can’t seem to catch anything, when do you know when to stop and just go home?”

“When it’s time to go home.”

“I see. That makes sense,” Sho murmured, eyes scanning Aiba’s ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Of course it does. But I don’t think Jun-kun would appreciate being compared to a fish.”

Sho sighed and turned his head to look at Ohno. “That’s not what I meant, you know.”

Ohno only answered with a small laugh and then closed his eyes again. Sho also returned his gaze back to the ceiling, watching the light from Aiba and Nino’s game create stretched out shadows of the things around them.

“But you know, Sho-chan? Sometimes, there are those kinds of fish that are just really difficult to catch. They swim around the lure, swim away and then swim back and they do it for so long it would make you think that you’d never get them to take the bait,” Ohno said softly. “Jun-kun can be very difficult. But don’t you think he’s worth it?”

“Hmmm… I don’t know if I am capable of processing that now, Ohno-kun.” Sho said truthfully. His brain was pretty much functioning on fifty percent capacity, the other half was still recovering from today.

“I’m not even sure what I just said,” Ohno said sleepily.

Sho did not have time to answer because Jun was approaching them with two glasses of water in his hands.

“Here,” Jun said as he put the glass in front of Sho. “You should drink plenty of water lest you get a hangover tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” Sho said gratefully, realizing he was actually thirsty.

“What were you two whispering about,” Jun asked looking back and forth between Sho and Ohno.

“You, Jun-kun,” Ohno said off the bat. Sho was sure his eyes grew wide and he turned red on the face with Ohno’s admission.

“I told him that when you were in kindergarten, all the girls in your class gave you chocolates for Valentine’s Day,” Ohno lied.

“Oh, shut up, Satoshi. Where did you hear that?” Jun sharply turned his head and stared at Nino’s back. “Tsk.”

Sho covered his mouth with the back of his hand to try and contain his laughter.

“I also told Sho-chan about that one time when we were staying at the university dorm and all the other students on our floor called you ‘King’,” Ohno continued, laughing when Jun tried to cover his mouth.

“King?” Sho wondered. “Why King?” Of course this was the first time Sho was hearing about this.

“They were just teasing me,” Jun explained. “Stop telling Sho-kun all these things, Satoshi,” Jun said goodheartedly to which Ohno only laughed some more.

It was Nino who eventually expressed that everyone should be going home now. It was a work week night and Sho couldn’t agree more. He needed the rest.

Nino and Sho took it upon themselves to wash the dishes, while Jun tidied up the living room and kitchen and separated Aiba’s trash. Ohno dutifully held open the trash bags for Jun while Aiba put his kitchen back in order. And true to his name, Kizoku-sama watched and supervised the entire affair with great authority.

Aiba called for a couple of cabs, Ohno and Nino taking one since they lived the same way, and Jun and Sho going in the other direction.

After Jun gave Sho’s address to the cab driver, they were silent the entire ride, just taking in the stillness of everything they passed through. He had just spent a wonderful evening with his friends. His stomach was full. His heart was full. He was happy. Sho looked at the man beside him and that brought a feeling that was foreign to him. He tried to find the word for it – contentment – and that made Sho smile. Jun turned to look at him and smiled back before looking out again, and wasn’t that a sight to behold.

Sho basked in the feeling, letting his heart get soaked in it. They were almost at his stop and when they got there, this day would end. And Sho would like, for as much as he could, to not let the day end yet. But that was not how time worked. Everything is bound by time.

The cab driver slowly pulled up in front of Sho’s apartment. Sho unbuckled his seatbelt, reached into his pocket and took out several bills. As he was about to give Jun his share of the cab fare, Jun spoke so lightly, Sho almost didn’t hear it.

“Invite me up,” Jun said, his eyes locked on Sho’s. “I don’t want to go home yet. Invite me up,” Jun said again.

Sho didn’t have to be asked again. He already made Jun say it twice and that was plenty.

“Would you like to come up for a while?” Sho said, his gaze never leaving Jun’s face. He watched as a small smile spread slowly on Jun’s lips before Jun said, “okay.”

Sho paid the driver and got out of the cab, followed by Jun. The streets were empty and their footsteps were loud against the stillness. Sho took out his keys, opened the main entrance door and waited for Jun to enter before going in. Jun had been here several times in the past months and the familiarity of Jun’s presence in this space of Sho’s life was something Sho only appreciated now.

When Sho invited Jun to come in, he was no longer worried about the few piles of books and magazines lying somewhere in his living room. Or the unsorted pet bottles and aluminum cans in his kitchen – he had made Jun promise to stop putting his trash in order every time.

But when they were finally in his living room, they found themselves just standing there, unsure of what to do. Sho had never had Jun in his home for things other than work and suddenly, Sho didn’t know what to do.

“I think this is the part where I’m supposed to offer tea or coffee,” Sho finally said which made Jun laugh.

“Yes, I think so. But water would be fine,” Jun said.

“Room temperature water.”

“Yes, please.”

Sho went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottled water from his cupboard. Ever since working with Jun in his home, Sho had started keeping bottled water in his cupboard and not just putting every single one of them in his fridge.

When he returned to his living room, Jun was already sitting comfortably on his couch, browsing one of Sho’s magazines.

“I didn’t know you liked architecture,” Jun said, turning another page.

“I have a friend who takes pictures for that magazine. I only buy one when they have his pictures featured,” Sho admitted.

“That’s really sweet of you.”

“I’m not sweet,” Sho insisted as he handed over the bottle of water.

“Okay, you’re not sweet.” Jun took the offered water and put aside the magazine.

Sho sat beside Jun and started looking over the magazine. It was the latest publication and he hadn’t really had the time to look it over.

“Do you think I should accept the position?” Jun suddenly asked out of nowhere and Sho didn’t have to be told what position Jun was talking about.

“Are you having doubts?”

“I have never worked in the whole idol group business before. I don’t even know the difference between a PV and an MV is, and they are giving me the job of a COO.”

Jun was unsure and Sho could understand that. He was being given the job of someone who was supposed to have years of experience.

“What do you want to do?” Sho finally asked.

“I don’t know.”

Sho now realized why Jun wanted to come up. Jun needed to get these things out of his system. It wasn’t something he could bring up earlier while everyone was celebrating for them.

“Do you want it?” Sho asked and Jun looked at him as if he’d just asked the most difficult question.

“Yes,” Jun finally said after a long silence.

Jun said yes, but Sho heard the ‘but’ he didn’t say. So Sho waited again until Jun was ready to say more.

“Yes, I want it,” Jun started, “but I don’t know if this is something I can do.”

Jun was always capable, always confident, always did things so perfectly that Sho forgot that there was a part of him which often doubted himself.

“Hey, Jun-kun. Look at me,” Sho said. “Do you want it?”

“Yes.”

“Then you’ll make it work.” Because that was what Matsumoto Jun always did. He would always make it work when he wanted it enough. He’d work harder than anyone and make it appear like he did it effortlessly.

Jun smiled shyly at this, like Sho had just given him the highest compliment. “Thanks, Sho-kun.”

“And besides, you have to become COO so that I can beat you and become CEO,” Sho said jokingly, trying to poke at Jun’s competitive side.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Jun teased back and then they had a laugh at that as well.

And all too soon, it was two in the morning and Jun looked like he was about to drop unconscious. Sho offered him to just sleep over. He wasn’t in any state to get home by himself. The exhaustion had finally caught up and it came with a vengeance.

Sho rummaged through his closet and came up with a shirt and jersey that would fit Jun’s wider frame. He took a spare toothbrush, a spare razor, a bath towel and manhandled Jun to his bathroom.

“Toothpaste, shampoo, soap, shaving cream,” Sho said as he pointed at each item on his sink counter. He then left Jun to do his business.

While Jun showered, Sho prepared the spare room with fresh sheets and extra pillows. He placed another bottled water at the nightstand and one of Sho’s alarm clocks, should Jun need it.

“Sho-kun?” Sho heard Jun calling him from outside.

“Over here,” Sho replied from inside the spare room.

“Oh, hi,” Jun said as he walked in carrying his bag and hair still damp from his shower. He looked considerably refreshed but his eyes were already starting to droop.

“You can sleep here. There’s a spare bath towel, and an alarm clock if you need it,” Sho elaborated which Jun replied with a sleepy smile.

“Thanks, Sho-kun.”

That simple thanks made something pinch in Sho’s gut, and it was all too cliché Sho could slap himself. So he settled for, “No problem. You should get some rest now.”

Sho moved to leave, but before he could close the door Jun stopped him with “Goodnight, Sho-kun” and Sho smiled and answered with, “Goodnight, Jun-kun.”

## IX. Pasta 

* * *

Sho woke up the next day to the smell of coffee and something delicious. Surprisingly, he woke up before his alarm went off, well-rested and refreshed despite sleeping late. His apartment was quiet, but he was sure there was something delicious inside his home. Sho stretched lazily and then momentarily closed his eyes again to savor the scent before slowly getting up.

The first thing he noticed was that the spare room was open and empty, the bed made and the used towel hanging neatly on the closet door. Jun was not there. And he wasn’t in the bathroom or the living room or the kitchen. But there was a fresh pot of coffee and a plate of pancakes on his dining table. Next to it was a note.

_“Sho-kun,_

_Good morning. Sorry, I left without telling you. I had to leave early and didn’t want to wake you. You had nothing in your fridge except for bottled water, a carton of milk and beer. The best I could make was pancake from the pancake batter mix in your cupboard._

_Next time, I’ll make you a proper breakfast. :D_

_Thanks for last night._

_See you later._

_Matsumoto Jun.”_

Sho put down the note and somehow Jun’s simple gesture made Sho very happy. Sho poured himself a mug of coffee and sat down, the plate of pancakes making him smile again. He had time this morning and leisurely ate the breakfast Jun made for him. It was still a little warm and was browned just right. It was perfect.

After breakfast, Sho cleaned up the kitchen, took a shower and prepared for another work day. The train was packed as always, but this time, he hardly noticed it. When he arrived at the company's lobby, people he didn’t know greeted him and made way for him on the elevator. It was strange and Sho didn’t know how to respond to this sudden change in people’s demeanor towards him. Just yesterday, nobody from outside his department ever paid attention to him.

And when he reached his office, Sho was greeted with applause and celebratory greetings from his colleagues at the department.

“Congratulations, Sakurai,” Murao greeted as he approached Sho and shook his hand. “I knew you could do it. Managing director! Well done! I can retire knowing that everyone is in good hands.”

Sho thanked Murao and everyone of his colleagues. He thanked them for supporting him when he was preparing for the project's proposal and promised everyone that he’d do his best.

After more handshakes and several ‘thank you’, Sho made his way to his cubicle and prepared for another day of work. The pile of paper work seemed to have multiplied from the other day. Well, he did not have much time to go over the reports yesterday, and he’s going to pay for that today. Sho took a deep breath and dove right into it.

Sho managed to reduce the pile of documents by half before he felt the fatigue set in. He had just read a paragraph four times and knew it was time to take a break. Sho pushed back his chair away from his desk, stood up and stretched his arms up, wincing when he felt the pull of his tense lower back muscles. Looking at his desk clock told him that he had been at it for four hours straight. That would explain his empty stomach and full bladder.

Sho addressed the most urgent matter, which was his full bladder. The trip to the toilet was brief and brought so much relief that Sho hadn’t realized he actually needed. He should really be more careful about these things. He heard old Nagase from the human resources department had to get operated on for kidney stones because he always forgot to drink water and delayed using the toilet until he could really no longer hold it in.

“Tabe-chan,” Sho approached the assistant secretary. “I’m just going to take my lunch break if anyone looks for me.”

Tabe smiled brightly at Sho. “Sure, no problem.”

“Thank you.”

Sho went down to the cafeteria and had his usual soba. He sat at the farthest corner table, ate, and looked around. Something felt different, like something was not quite right. Sho shrugged it off and finished his meal, thanked the soba stand staff for another wonderful meal, and went back to his office.

“Sakurai-san?” Tabe greeted him. “I thought you were going to have lunch.”

“I did. Why? Did anyone look for me?”

Tabe shook her head and looked at Sho quizzically. “Uhm. Not really. It’s just that it felt fast,” Tabe said. “Not that it matters. It just surprised me.”

When Sho returned to his cubicle, he realized why it didn’t feel quite right.

Jun wasn’t there.

Sho’s work day ended without even having talked to Jun. When Sho was about to leave for the day, he went to Jun’s floor only to find out that Jun was called out of the office for a meeting earlier that day and had not returned yet. Sho contemplated sending a message to Jun but figured he must be really busy. There was an empty feeling at the pit of Sho’s stomach, but he ignored it and figured it was nothing a good dinner couldn’t fill. Right, he was just hungry. At least that was what he told himself until he got too tired to think about it.

The next day, Sho made sure to make it to the cafeteria for lunch time. He saw some of Jun’s Soyokaze project team members but no Jun. Not even on their corner table, where Nino was happily eating his omurice. Sho joined Nino and they talked and laughed, but there was still a weird feeling in Sho’s gut that none of the mabo tofu and yogurt shake could fill.

After a week of having that weird sensation in his stomach, Sho finally went to his best friend for some help.

“You miss him,” Aiba said.

“Miss who?”

“Matsujun. You miss Matsujun,” Aiba said as a matter of fact.

“What? No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you’ve been talking and talking about this weird tummy ache of yours, and then you talk about Matsujun, then back to the tummy ache and then Matsujun,” Aiba gestured exaggeratedly. “You miss Matsujun and it’s giving you ulcers.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Aiba-chan. It’s nothing like that.” Sho refused to think that it was so. Because missing Jun implied many things that Sho didn’t want to look too closely into. Missing him meant Sho was emotionally attached to him. And being emotionally attached to someone who Sho didn’t know if was capable of reciprocating that kind of attachment to another guy was all together complicated. Sho never asked and he would hate to assume anything about Jun.

“Stop pouting, Sho-chan,” Aiba teased.

“I’m not pouting,” Sho answered with a pout.

“Yes, you are.”

The only answer Sho gave for that was a large gulp of beer and a spoonful of pudding. Aiba good-naturedly laughed at Sho’s response and stayed off the topic the rest of the night.

But the seed had been planted in Sho’s brain and it was stuck there. He missed Jun? Sure, he often thought about their conversations over lunch, or the times they took the train home together, or how they frequently messaged each other, or how Jun would often join Sho in his office when he was doing overtime work, or how they would spend Saturdays either over at Jun’s place or at Sho’s place, or Jun’s delicious pasta, or…

_Oh gods, I do miss him._

The realization came to Sho at the most inappropriate moment while he was sitting on his toilet bowl, regretting not getting the vegetable salad for dinner the night before.

_I miss Jun._

Sho said to himself again, and it was so inconvenient because now he couldn’t get it out of his head and it nagged Sho to do something about it. Sure that was his own subconscious actually doing that, but it was still annoying.

But so it happened, it was Jun who came to Sho.

It was Saturday and Sho had just come from the gym, when he was met by Jun standing outside his apartment building. It was just like the first time Jun came over, but this time Jun was actually wearing clothes that Sho could recognize as slippers, khaki pants and a black shirt with wings printed on the shoulders. And this time, Sho actually showered before leaving the gym.

“Hi,” Sho said as he approached Jun.

“Hi,” Jun said back.

For a few moments, Sho just stared at Jun. There were large bags under his eyes and he was a little pale. But overall he looked healthy and well, and that was the most important.

“Wanna come up?” Sho asked and Jun only nodded with a smile.

They walked side by side towards the elevator and that’s when Sho noticed the grocery bag Jun was carrying.

“What’s that?” Sho asked.

“Food.”

“You’re feeding me?” Sho asked, unable to hide his excitement.

“Yes, I’m feeding you. Figured you still have nothing but drinks in your fridge and surely you won’t survive on those alone,” Jun said jokingly.

“Yay! You’re feeding me!” Sho said happily.

They rode the elevator in silence, with just the occasional rustle of the grocery bag interrupting the silence. Sho could have asked Jun why he didn’t call or message him first. But, honestly, the surge of happiness he felt with the surprise of seeing Jun again was all worth it. Jun could come over unannounced anytime.

There was a familiarity with the way Jun moved inside Sho’s place. There was an ease with the way he put on Sho’s slippers and the way he made himself at home in Sho’s kitchen – taking out the pans from the cupboard, opening the right drawer when he wanted to use the knife, knowing where the salt and pepper was and knowing that Sho preferred lots of meat sauce in his pasta.

They didn’t talk about work, but Jun told him about the new taco place he discovered beside the building of the new company. And when Jun said “we should go there sometime”, Sho could have sworn his smile had split his face.

Sho insisted on helping Jun and he was allowed to watch the fish as it cooked in the pan and flip the filet when it was golden brown. When it turned out perfect, Jun beamed at Sho and gave him a high five. Sho felt like a six year old who had just been told he was such a good boy. Embarrassing comparison but that’s how accomplished he felt, this thirty-eight year old managing director who just cooked his first fish.

They ate under the shade of Sho’s veranda and enjoyed the breeze of early summer. It was a late lunch but it was a perfect time for beer on a Saturday afternoon, so they had beer with their pasta and fish. And when lunch was done, they lazed on Sho’s couch, the soft breeze blowing in from the open veranda door. Sho hadn’t felt this relaxed in a while and he savored every moment of it.

“When are you officially starting at the new company?” Sho asked. When he didn’t get any response, he turned to see Jun with his eyes closed and softly snoring. Sho shook his head and gently placed a throw pillow beside his neck for support. Jun must have been exhausted.

Sho allowed himself to stare and just look at this Jun who had all his guards down and completely vulnerable. Sho slowly lifted his hand to gently brush away the hair on Jun’s forehead. Sho stayed there, his face only inches away from Jun’s face, stared and decided that he’d rather that Jun was awake when he did what he wanted to do. And so, Sho just leaned his head against the backrest of his couch, closed his eyes and let sleep take him away.

When he opened his eyes, the sun was already low in the horizon, casting yellow and orange hues inside Sho’s living room. Sho looked around, figuring out that he must have fallen asleep on his couch and hours had already passed. Sho’s left arm felt heavy and a little numb and when he turned his head, he saw that Jun had made use of his arm as a pillow, comfortably lying on his side on Sho’s couch. Sho debated between removing his arm and disturbing Jun out of his comfort or enduring his own discomfort so that Jun could rest for a little longer.

Gladly, Sho didn’t have to make a choice because Jun slowly opened his eyes and sat up slowly with a stretch and a yawn. He blinked several times, looked around as if figuring where he was, and then turned to Sho and gave him a sleepy smile and a soft ‘hi’.

It was downright the most adorable thing Sho had ever seen in a long while, sleep crusts on Jun’s eyes and everything.

“Hi, good morning,” Sho answered sleepily. “Had a good rest?”

Jun yawned again and gave Sho a short nod. “I haven’t felt this well rested in a while.”

Well, if Jun was going to say that, Sho figured he would endure the pins and needles in his arm if it meant making Jun sleep comfortably.

Jun stood up and stretched, and shuffled towards Sho’s toilet. Sho stood up and did a little stretching himself before closing the veranda door and turning on the living room lights. He was suddenly very thirsty and lazily walked to the kitchen and grabbed a drink. That was how Jun found him in the kitchen, and while Jun managed to make himself look fresh again, Sho knew he had puffy eyes and crease marks on his cheeks like always after a nap.

Either way, Jun didn’t seem to think any of it and just smiled at Sho.

“Hey, Sho-kun, I need to go ahead,” Jun said, patting his pants pockets for his phone.

“Alright. Do you need anything before you go?” Sho asked.

“Uhn hmm,” Jun said, shaking his head. “I just need to find my phone.”

“I think you left on the table in the living room.”

“Ah, okay. I’ll just grab it then I’m off. I hope it wasn’t much of an inconvenience that I came here today,” Jun said.

And there it was again, Sho thought. Jun would always start talking formally whenever he was about to leave. Like he hadn’t just spent the better part of the afternoon sharing a meal with Sho and sleeping on his couch. Sho supposed it was just the awkwardness of the leaving process.

“Nope, not inconvenient at all. You can come and cook for me anytime,” Sho teased, which seemed to work because Jun was giving him his dorky smile again.

“Okay. I definitely will.” Jun was staring at Sho and he had a look in his eyes like he was about to say something, or like he was waiting for Sho to say something. But the expression was gone as soon as Jun made it and Sho was in a bit of a loss on what to do. Then Jun started to move and the moment was gone.

“I suppose we’ll see each other at the office on Monday,” Sho said.

“Yeah, I think I won’t be having many meetings out of my office next week. We can have lunch together at the cafeteria?”

“I’ll look forward to that.”

They were already at Sho’s genkan. Jun put on his slippers, and opened Sho’s door before turning around to face Sho with a determined look.

“Jun-kun? What’s the matter?”

Jun took a deep breath and then took one step towards Sho and said “I didn’t think you would be this dense Sho,” before leaning forward and laying his lips on Sho’s.

It was over too soon and Sho stood there frozen, staring at Jun with what must have been a shocked look. Because that was exactly how he felt. His blood was rushing and he was tingling all over and he watched in slow motion as Jun gave him a small lopsided smile and then walked out the door.

Sho didn’t know how many moments passed, but when he recovered, Jun was already outside his door and Sho was left there blinking at his empty genkan. And as if a switch had been turned on, Sho dashed after Jun.

When Sho finally caught up with Jun, he was already inside the elevator.

“Wait,” Sho shouted and was glad that Jun didn’t embarrass him by closing the elevator door. Sho stepped inside the elevator just before it started to close, caught his breath with a deep inhale and loud exhale and then looked at Jun.

“I’m kind of rusty with this so you have to give me time to catch on, okay?” Sho said before he cupped Jun’s face in his hands and kissed him – nothing like that chaste peck on the lips Jun passed on as a kiss. But a deep, long, wet kiss that had Jun clinging on Sho’s shirt and had Sho pushing Jun back against the elevator door. At the back of Sho’s mind, he knew that there was a CCTV camera recording everything but he didn’t care. He was kissing Jun and he was going to keep doing so until he was well damn satisfied.

Sho pulled away just as the bell for the first floor sounded and then the elevator door opened. Sho gently pushed Jun out of the door, reveling at the wet plumpness of Jun’s lips and the unfocused look in his eyes.

“Bye Jun. See you on Monday,” Sho said smugly before closing the elevator door and making his way back up to his floor.

Ten minutes later, his phone pinged with a message from Jun.

_“You do know that I’m going to get back at you for that, right? See you on Monday.”_

Sho laughed and thought of the best way to respond. He imagined Jun’s scowl as he typed this message and it made it all funnier for Sho.

_“Please do. See you.”_

Monday came and like promised, Sho and Jun had lunch together at their corner table in the cafeteria. Nino joined them eventually and the moment Nino sat there, he gave them a curious look and then just started laughing.

“I can’t believe it,” Nino said and then laughed again.

“What?” Jun asked.

“Oh, nothing, nothing. It’s just that you two look really cute together,” Nino said.

Jun blushed a deep shade of red and Sho thought it was adorable. Sho, on the other hand, didn’t bother to deny anything. It wasn’t like he was hiding anything. And no, he was not going to hide his relationship with Jun.

_Relationship with Jun._

Was it really a relationship? Sho could only think of it that way. He wasn’t some fumbling teenager who was just experimenting. And neither was he just playing around, looking for a short affair to fill his time.

“We have always been cute,” was how Sho responded to Nino.

“Of course, Sho-chan. But when you two are trying so hard not to crawl over each other like this it's even cuter,” Nino said, taking a small bite of his burger steak.

“We are not trying not to crawl over each other,” Jun said.

“Uhuh,” Nino said with a smile. They continued to eat their lunch with Nino deciding to stop teasing them. Instead, Nino asked about the promotion and the circulating rumor that there was some serious power struggle for the next department manager in Sho’s and Jun’s respective departments.

“There is no power struggle,” Sho said. “We’re just being thorough with the selection process. It’s going to take several rounds of interviews and performance reviews, so some people are worried.”

Sho had tried to quell many of the employee’s worries as much as he could. But he wanted the selection process to be thorough and fair, and some of the older employees were worried that they would get looked over again in favor of the much younger ones. Maybe that was where these rumors stemmed from.

Sho was already in the process of transitioning from an assistant manager to a managing director. It was difficult, but it was to be expected with the changes in his responsibilities. Besides, Jun was having a harder time, transitioning to a completely different company with completely different responsibilities.

Jun had been out of the office most of the previous week because he had been having countless meetings for the new subsidiary company. And all those were on top of Jun’s other responsibilities as still the acting manager in his department.

“I’m sure those rumors will die down as soon as someone gets the position. It can’t be helped. The corporate world is a tough one,” Nino said thoughtfully.

When lunch break was over, the three friends went back to their respective posts to face another afternoon of meetings and paperwork. Well, except for Nino. He already finished all his paperwork this morning and was planning to spy on some erratic online behaviors of some newbies in the company.

At half past six in the evening, Sho messaged Jun to ask if he was staying overtime.

_“I think I’ll be here for a few more hours. Did you want to go somewhere?”_

_“No, I was just wondering if you’d want to have dinner delivered.”_

_“Sushi?”_ was Jun’s response and it was the fastest Jun has ever replied to Sho, which made him smile because obviously, Jun was hungry.

_“Yes, sushi.”_

_“Okay! Do I go down to your office?”_

_“No, I’ll bring it up.”_

_“Thanks, Sho-kun. I’ll wait for you.”_

Sho called the same shop he called the first time he and Jun had dinner together in the office and made sure to order Jun’s favorite. Twenty minutes later, the food arrived and Sho made his way to Jun’s office.

Sho knocked on Jun’s office door before opening it.

“Hey, Sho-kun. You’re here,” Jun said with a tired smile.

“Yep, and I bring sustenance,” Sho smiled back. The pile of documents on Jun’s ‘in’ tray was as tall as the pile on his ‘out’ tray. It looked like Jun still had a long night to go.

Sho laid the trays of food on Jun’s small coffee table and they both settled on the couch, eating directly from the trays.

“How was your day?” Jun asked.

“Hmmm… One of our newest staff spilled coffee on Tabe-chan, and I have never seen anything scarier than Tabe-chan getting mad as hell.” It had been a sight to behold. It was the first time anyone had seen Tabe-chan get mad, but her nice, white dress had been completely drenched from the chest down, and no one blamed her for her outburst.

“Sweet, nice, always smiling Tabe-chan?”

“Yup,” Sho said with a giggle.

“And the new staff?”

“Well, he’s passing by the expert dry cleaners’ shop tonight to get Tabe-chan’s dress all cleaned up.”

“Ouch! That’s going to cost a lot,” Jun said, for which Sho only nodded.

“How about you? How was your day?” Sho asked, reaching out to remove a piece of rice which stuck to Jun’s collar.

“Long. Tiring,” Jun paused. “Next week, we’ll start having meetings for the initiation of phase one of the Soyokaze project.”

“Make Soyokaze the number one idol group in Japan?”

“Yep, that one,” Jun said with a smile. “Ne, Sho-kun?”

“Hmm?”

“You were right.”

“About what?”

“I really want it. This promotion, I want it. And you’re right, it’s going to work,” Jun said thoughtfully.

Sho smiled at Jun, glad to see that the doubt was gone.

“Hey Jun?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I stay here for just a few more minutes? I don’t wanna go back to work yet,” Sho said as he stretched out his legs in front of him and slouched on the couch.

“Okay,” Jun mimicked Sho’s pose. “We can stay like this for a while.”

“Ne, Jun?”

“Hmmm?”

“Why’d you never mention the blanket?”

Sho knew that Jun knew exactly what blanket he was talking about, and Jun had the good sense to not deny it. Jun turned his body closer to Sho and said, “Hmmm… I think I already told you that you’re really dense when it comes to this kind of things.” The diffuser in Jun’s office was that of lavender with a hint of jasmine.

“Is that so?”

“Uhn,” was Jun’s only reply and a soft peck on Sho’s cheek.

And so they sat there and took a much needed pause from the hectic day they had just had. Sho had his head bent back, resting on the back rest of Jun's couch, while Jun had his head propped on Sho’s shoulder. They didn’t talk much, sometimes mentioning some random thing they just remembered. Like Jun recalling that Ohno called him to tell him he's getting his own small fishing boat, and Sho mentioning that Nino sent him a pack of ‘office emergency condoms’, all wrapped in very nice paper packaging and red and purple ribbons, for which Jun only giggled and whispered ‘We’d have to find a way to make use of that. It would be rude not to use a friend’s gift.’

And this was mostly how Sho and Jun spent their workdays together. Office dinners when they were both working overtime, lunch together at the cafeteria or at the Italian restaurant two blocks away when they had the time. Midnight calls of 'how was your day' talks and 'how are you doing' chit chats when their schedules for the day wouldn’t match. And random text messages whenever they could during the day.

These were not the ideal date scenarios that Sho had in mind, but this was their reality as two people working in this kind of company. And this was them trying to make their relationship work. They really wanted to make it work because it was all so worth it. Soon, they would have to figure things out once again, when Jun officially got transferred to Arashi Productions as COO. But they’d make that work, too.

The weekends were spent with either Sho staying over at Jun’s or, Jun staying over at Sho’s. And despite what Nino thought, no, they didn’t have wild sex every day. No, not every day. But the wild sex part was true when they did get together. Jun was a very sexually aware partner and told Sho exactly what he wanted to do and what he wanted Sho to do to him. And Sho never thought how arousing a confident man could be between the sheets. Or in the shower. Or on the living room couch. So Sho also learned how to express to Jun the things he wanted. Being with Jun made Sho more aware of his own preferences. Sho realized that Jun praising him as their bodies moved against and inside each other was orgasmic in itself. And that Sho loved giving away control as much as he loved being in control. Sho had never felt so liberated. And Jun was so flexible that Sho had a wonderful time exploring just how deep he could go and how far he could stretch Jun.

Sex for the two of them wasn’t just something just to satisfy their desires but another way of communicating, another way of showing themselves to each other. It was an exploration, and every time there was something new to discover. The first time they had sex was on Jun’s king-sized bed and Sho had been torturing Jun with his tongue and his hands that Jun had to manhandle Sho into fucking him. It was glorious. And Sho knew that Jun kneading Sho’s ass was Jun’s way of asking Sho if it was okay to take him that way. That too was splendid. The rushed and whispered words of affection and encouragement they shared in the heat of their love-making, those too were wonderful. 

When it was just them and their close friends together, and Nino would tease them for being cute together, Sho and Jun had learned to respond by kissing each other thoroughly in front of Nino. Ohno and Aiba would cheer them on while Nino would laugh his ass off. Sho counted himself lucky to have that kind of friends.

It was with those friends that Sho watched Soyokaze’s first big dome concert at Tokyo Dome with the fifty-five thousand other Soyokaze fans. But it was Sho alone who cried proud tears when the final credits rolled up and it said Executive Producer and Concert Director: Matsumoto Jun.

## END.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not work in the corporate world and neither do I work in the world of idol groups and artists. I really tried to make their work setting as realistic as possible but I think I missed a lot of details and got a lot of things wrong. Sorry. :D I couldn't make the rating any higher, but I hope you like this anyway.
> 
> Thank you to my beta who worked on this on such short notice. All mistakes are mine. :/
> 
> And thanks to the mod for being so kind and understanding. 😁


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